A long blog about some of the people I consider family…

Growing up my mom constantly told me:  “You can’t choose your family”. And even though some people really believe that, I can’t say I agree with that statement… or that I ever did. Granted, my mom was right to some extent, I can’t choose who is genetically part of my family or not. But she was wrong in regards to me being able to choose who I consider family, who I love, and who I care about. I love my family. I love the people that are genetically connected to me, the people that are legally connected to me, and the people who are solely connected to me by love and friendships. I choose now who I want in my life, and who I consider family.

Through this experience I’ve seen how lucky I am to be supported by such amazing people. I’ve learned this not only because I had my family standing behind me for any choice I was going to to make, but also, because I’ve seen what its like to not have people standing behind you. It’s hard to consider people family unless they genuinely and unconditionally want what is best for you. It’s a pity that some people are so focused on thinking that blood is the most important connection between people, that they don’t see the real family in front of them. Of course blood is a strong connection, but that doesn’t make it best or right. A blood family member may not necessarily care about your unconditional happiness, while others will. A lot of friends have shared this secret with me during this pregnancy, along with me being able to see and learn it for myself. And hopefully at some point or another in peoples life everyone learns this for themselves.

Like I said, I am lucky. I had my family standing behind me from day one.  Even though not everyone would have chosen the route I chose, I didn’t receive pressure from my family to go in a certain direction and everyone was there to support me no matter what. I am grateful, so very grateful for this.

My aunt: Gloria, my mother: Connie, aunt: Claudia, and grandmother: Lita. 
This picture was taken this past month, and though it makes me sad that I couldn’t be in Massachusetts for this picture, I feel happy looking at it and knowing that my babycakes and I will join this tribe of women.
Hands down, without competition… my rock, my backbone, my biggest supporter, will always be my mother. She’s strong, beautiful, and something to aspire to… She also looks pretty nice in yellow 🙂  My grandmother, “lita” was a single mother to the 3 woman pictured above and a son. She is my tiny grandmother who lives in Colombia, but is constantly trying to feed me food I wont eat during every visit she makes and she is constantly praying for my well-being. My aunt Gloria also lives in Colombia and doesn’t have a mean bone in her body. My aunt Claudia loves to vacuum. She wants what is best, but is stubborn, hard, and impatient…. exactly like me. 
My dad: Regent “Ray”, my step-mom: Fidelina.

When my dad is on his Harley he is known as “Sting Ray”. True story. I love my dad, I really do, but I can’t say I’ve always really considered him family. Maybe it is my fault, maybe it’s both our faults, but we never really were able to get close (until now). I think one of the largest factors of this is we are both very similar and butt heads a little too often. This year has helped us a lot. Not only with this pregnancy, but there has been one other time this year that I had no choice but to put my stubbornness aside and ask for his help. And to my surprise, he was there. Maybe he would have always been there, but I never really knew that for certain until this year. I really appreciate all he has done for me. He has really come out of his shell in the past few years. I think part of this is due to age, but mainly accredited to my step-mom Fidelina. I think she matches him pretty well, and brings out his better side.  

My brother Mark!
He is my little brother… except a whole lot bigger than me. Not only is he an amazing brother, but also an amazing person. He’s accomplished a lot in his 24 years of life and I can say I am jealous of most of it. We think a lot alike, laugh at the same jokes, and don’t have to say much or anything at all to know what the other is thinking.
Christopher! My half brother! One of the joys that come from blending and adding in family. Small, dark, and handsome, and one of Jerry’s biggest fans. 
Sofia and Ben, my step-sisters children… aka.. my step- niece and nephew.
This is where adding in family can be difficult to label, but definitely family, and a huge added bonus. My mom remarried to my Step dad, Carlos when my brother and I were pretty young. He joyfully sings pretty loud, which can be pretty embarrassing as a child… and maybe that is one of the reasons my mom told me I can’t choose family. I didn’t choose to have him in my life growing up, my mom did. But I’m happy she did. He didn’t try to take my dads role (he didn’t have to), but he can definitely be considered a father figure in my life, especially since I grew up with him in our household and with my dad 1,200 miles away. Without him, I sadly would not have my step-sister Carolina in my life… and without her I wouldn’t have her two young-ins in my life (with a third on the way!) I don’t see Carolina enough, but I love her regardless. She was of the first people I confronted when I found I was pregnant and scared out of my mind. <3
Some of these family members are blood, some are added in, and all were put into my life without my choosing. I can choose not to have any of these people in my life (not that I would ever do that!!!!), because I choose from here on out who is my family and who will be in babycakes life. One day, when she is old enough she will choose for herself, but I have no doubt in my mind how happy she will be to have all these people in her life. They have been there for her from day one, and always be… lucky little girl 🙂
A few older pictures of family that I really enjoy:
(click images to enlarge)

-Grandpa: Mark, Grandma: Gertrude
-Dad, me, brother: Mark
-Mom, brother
-Dad, brother
-Me, dad


  1. Now I know who Marlowe looks like so much. It's you! you two are identical when you were her age 🙂