Rough nights don’t come very often, but when they do I find them really difficult. We had a difficult one last night. I think the reality of how hard it is every night alone is starting to eat at me a little a lot. Even with my friends and family around I sometimes feel like I am going through this alone…. because I am. She is my responsibility and no one else’s. My mom is here for another week and the rest of my family is always here, but no one is going to be there every night for Marlowe except for me. I’m happy to be there for her… I love Marlowe- I love every single little bit of her, but there are times that I wish it was easier. I know I can do this. Every time she cries I find myself joking and saying “Marlowe, you’re being a baby”. But maybe, I’m being a baby. I just have to continue to suck it up and get through everything. I know I can do this. Suck it up. Suck it up. Suck it up.


But I feel so lonely
But it won’t do nothing
But I have no money
Are you up to something?
Where’s my milk and honey?
But I just look funny
I’ll just wait awhile”


  1. Although, my parents got married when I was six, my mom was a single mom in those EXTREMELY difficult beginning months. I didn't appreciate or even realize how strong she had to be until I had my own little one. I remember telling myself to "SUCK it up!" many times. Even being married, as a breastfeeding mom I was the one who was up all hours of the night and then next day when my husband worked. But, I clearly remember thinking "Oh, my gosh. How on earth did my mom do this alone. At least, my husband could walk her around endlessly during her fussy evening hours while I went to bed early. I still don't understand how my mom did it, but she did and we are all okay. And remember that this time does not last forever. Before you know it, you will be treasuring the nights that she needs a little extra rocking to go to sleep.

  2. I just cried. I thought I was the only mom who felt that way, especially because most of the blogs I see are Mommy+Daddy+Baby… where do I fit in? Lily Claire is the most beautiful gift God has given me. I don't feel so alone anymore… thank you for making my day a little brighter 🙂

  3. hang in there! you are doing a great job and YES, you can do this.
    it's not going to be easy, many rough nights ahead but it's all worth it, right?

    clap your hands!

  4. I had Dakota at 20 and was a single mom- with help from my mom, like you, but still, like you, raising him alone- and I SO remember those hard nights. Dakota was colicky for a few months and cried all the time when he wasn't nursing. I had to set him down many a time and let him cry for a minute so I could go and breathe. I also got a wonderful therapist on a sliding scale and saw her weekly or biweekly, which realllly helped me deal with stress etc, and staying on track to be the kind of mom I wanted to be. When you have those hard nights remember you are alone, but not in your experience of that aloneness. THere are many other single mommas out there right now not getting much sleep and feeling jittery and overwhelmed. You can do it!

  5. from one mom to the next… i totally understand.. we'll clap our hands together 😉

    sending you love from