Everything has become messy. I am messy, my daughter is messy, the bed is messy, my car is messy, and worst of all: food is messy. It’s like Marlowe knows when I sit down to eat… SHE KNOWS! 98% of the time that I sit with a plate of food in front of me she wants to be held or fed. I find myself making easier meals or rushing to cook food quicker so that I have more time to sit and eat. Sometimes this method works…. it usually doesn’t. I am determined to try to have things a little more structured and scheduled around here so that I have set times to cook, eat, clean, and soon: study/work. As someone who once suffered from anxiety while sitting in messy homes this lack of order is a bit…. chaotic… no.. maybe surprising? I prepared myself for chaos during the whole pregnancy knowing that once Babycakes came around things would be a bit a lot messier, less tasks would be accomplished, and I wouldn’t be dependably on time anymore. Well, all these fears came true. On a daily basis I feel like nothing ever gets done… but still, I’m finding the hardest part about everything is the food aspect. I wasn’t prepared for my meals to be so messy. I know, it really shouldn’t matter how messy my meals are when I’m eating alone, but even still, I’m yearning for my food to taste and look top notch even while I’m covered in poop and spit up.

3 Comments

  1. it's got to be a breastfed baby thing. when my son was an infant he could be peacefully sleeping away, and the exact MOMENT i sat down to eat a meal he would wake up. he didn't seem to mind the random sauce that would wind up splattered on his head while i continued to eat and nurse him at the same time. 🙂