Eric and I tried to make it work, it didn’t. It’s no secret that Eric has been a HUGE part of my life and Marlowe’s life for the past year. With the help, yes, but more importantly, with the time spent and conversations we had on the day to day: it has been a difficult change. It’s really important for both of us to continue as friends, &we are doing what we can to stay in each other’s lives.
With Marlowe’s fathers visit and then with the trip to Massachusetts planned, there has been about two weeks of distractions keeping me (and Marlowe) busy from the regular day to day. But now, here we are again, in South Florida, and the major changes are apparent. I knew going to Massachusetts, that I would come back and nothing would be the same, and boy, was I right.
The past few days have been hard. Between the 8 hours of traveling solo with a sick baby (it really takes a toll on this 5’2″ body). &The rainy dark weather back at home. &Because Marlowe is without a doubt teething again– my breasts are feeling her toothy rage. Also, there is a fever (I took for teething) and a rash that quickly appeared (that I took for a diaper rash and detergent change)— that turned out to actually be a case of Roseola. Mild, for sure, but still difficult when you don’t have food in your home (from cleaning it out pre-vacation) and your gas has been turned off from… well, forgetfulness (lack of payment). I’ve had no choice but to co-sleep (get no sleep at all) with this very clingy baby, becuase Marlowe refuses to sleep any other way.
This isn’t meant to be a rant, or a long post of complaints, it’s just real life. Today seems much brighter— not only outside, but inside too. Marlowe is slowly becoming her easy going &happy self, and I’m finding ease and comfort in her slow return to normal. A lot of things are changing around here. And no one knows for certain how life will turn out, but for now, we are stepping one foot in front of the other, moving forward, and staying positive, because even with the bad, life is undeniably good.