As many of you (might, maybe) know: I don’t own a TV. I had one in my home when I first moved in here, but it was never even connected to anything, it just sat there like a worthless eye-sore. I got rid of it. I’ve always preferred living in a TV free home. That being said, I do have a few guilty pleasures… you know, some of those really girly or trashy TV shows. I watch about four hours of TV a week… on the internet. Yesterday (or was it the day before?), I put on one of my favorite guilty pleasures: Desperate Housewives. The intro/narrator started and an image of a tired mom relaxing without her kids was shown (Lynette). The narrator goes on to say that Lynette had quickly realized the bonus of separating with her spouse: child sharing: three whole days a week where she was able to do things she enjoyed without having to tending to her children’s needs 24/7. I giggled to myself and thought: “How true”.
This is me. Well, sort of. I have less kids and I have one day a week, guaranteed to myself: Tuesdays. Every Tuesday that comes along, I have a little lump in my throat, I feel a bit of sadness, and every second that goes by I feel like I am forgetting or missing something, but I will say: I do enjoy my little break. Every single day a week. Twenty-four hours a day. I am the only one responsible for Marlowe. I don’t really get a break. I mean, I leave for a few hours a day to go to work (um… but thats work), but as soon as I get home: it’s back to go go go, alone with Marlowe.
I do like Tuesdays. I like waking up with her, pulling her into my bed for an hour or so in the morning. (I hate saying goodbye). I go to work. I actually get to go to the gym. I come home. I shower with no little hands poking through the curtain. I eat a small meal to myself: anything I want— I don’t have to worry about how healthy it is, how messy it is, how kid friendly it is: ANYTHING I WANT. And then I have hours to do as little or as much as I want. More often then not, I take a moment to respond to emails, blog, and sometimes, maybe, search around on the internet for nothing. Then, if I’d like, I can go to dinner with friends, eat as slow as I want, stay as long as I want (well, as long as I’m home by 9), and just: enjoy and not worry. Then before I know it: it’s 9 pm. Marlowe is back at my door and back in my arms. We eat snacks, read books, do puzzles, and spend an hour together before it’s time for bed again.
About a month after I became a single mama again, time-sharing began again. I knew I would have to make the absolute best of it. No sitting around. No being sad. But using and taking advantage of those hours (12 of them) a week I had to myself. I most recently (the past two tuesdays) even went shopping! I know, we all know: I hate shopping. But I discovered a tip to make it more enjoyable: have a beer first and stay for no more then half an hour. Even if I end up returning half the stuff, it makes shopping tolerable for sure, and almost-kind of enjoyable. Anyway, I digress. I like my me time. I like not having to be the only one responsible. I like and need that moment to relax. I need that time to re-charge, at the end of the day, it makes me a better mom.
I do however, find it funny how mom-mode never really shuts off though. Just yesterday, I caught myself asking Jerry if he could see the doggie outside the window. Heh.