As many of you (might, maybe) know: I don’t own a TV. I had one in my home when I first moved in here, but it was never even connected to anything, it just sat there like a worthless eye-sore. I got rid of it. I’ve always preferred living in a TV free home. That being said, I do have a few guilty pleasures… you know, some of those really girly or trashy TV shows. I watch about four hours of TV a week… on the internet. Yesterday (or was it the day before?), I put on one of my favorite guilty pleasures: Desperate Housewives. The intro/narrator started and an image of a tired mom relaxing without her kids was shown (Lynette). The narrator goes on to say that Lynette had quickly realized the bonus of separating with her spouse: child sharing: three whole days a week where she was able to do things she enjoyed without having to tending to her children’s needs 24/7. I giggled to myself and thought: “How true”.
This is me. Well, sort of. I have less kids and I have one day a week, guaranteed to myself: Tuesdays. Every Tuesday that comes along, I have a little lump in my throat, I feel a bit of sadness, and every second that goes by I feel like I am forgetting or missing something, but I will say: I do enjoy my little break. Every single day a week. Twenty-four hours a day. I am the only one responsible for Marlowe. I don’t really get a break. I mean, I leave for a few hours a day to go to work (um… but thats work), but as soon as I get home: it’s back to go go go, alone with Marlowe.
I do like Tuesdays. I like waking up with her, pulling her into my bed for an hour or so in the morning. (I hate saying goodbye). I go to work. I actually get to go to the gym. I come home. I shower with no little hands poking through the curtain. I eat a small meal to myself: anything I want— I don’t have to worry about how healthy it is, how messy it is, how kid friendly it is: ANYTHING I WANT. And then I have hours to do as little or as much as I want. More often then not, I take a moment to respond to emails, blog, and sometimes, maybe, search around on the internet for nothing. Then, if I’d like, I can go to dinner with friends, eat as slow as I want, stay as long as I want (well, as long as I’m home by 9), and just: enjoy and not worry. Then before I know it: it’s 9 pm. Marlowe is back at my door and back in my arms. We eat snacks, read books, do puzzles, and spend an hour together before it’s time for bed again.
About a month after I became a single mama again, time-sharing began again. I knew I would have to make the absolute best of it. No sitting around. No being sad. But using and taking advantage of those hours (12 of them) a week I had to myself. I most recently (the past two tuesdays) even went shopping! I know, we all know: I hate shopping. But I discovered a tip to make it more enjoyable: have a beer first and stay for no more then half an hour. Even if I end up returning half the stuff, it makes shopping tolerable for sure, and almost-kind of enjoyable. Anyway, I digress. I like my me time. I like not having to be the only one responsible. I like and need that moment to relax. I need that time to re-charge, at the end of the day, it makes me a better mom.
I do however, find it funny how mom-mode never really shuts off though. Just yesterday, I caught myself asking Jerry if he could see the doggie outside the window. Heh.
32 Comments
You are totally right, mummy time DOES make you a better mum! Enjoy your Tuesday to bits, they sound wonderful!!
I totally get it. I'm a single mama but never get any time off. It's just me watching out for my Eli 24/7, 7 days a week. 3 hrs a week I teach, so my babe is left with a friend. But, otherwise, its just me. On top of that, working on the PhD and grading for the classes I teach until 2am every night…I'm tired, so tired. After 2 years of doing this, I'm starting to really feel the exhaustion. So, what I'm trying to say is, enjoy your mama recharging time, its a must!
I think it is so important for you to take that time away from Marlow to regroup and rebalance! It's so great that you're learning to love the time that is just for you!
I'm not sure if you've heard of Scentsy at all, but it is a wickless candle system that is child safe. I always tell moms about it because burning candles to make your house smell yummy can obviously be dangerous (flame, hot wax, etc), but scentsy wax is heated at such a low temp that even if Marlowe put her hand in the wax it wouldn't burn her! I'm not sure if you're into candles/yummy-smelling products, but if you are you should see all the ADORABLE products we have. Even yummy-smelling stuffed animals for Marlowe! Just something to consider!
Vanesa
vanescents.blogspot.com – Blog!
vanesayglesias.scentsy.us – For products!
I'd love to get rid of our tv, but my husband would never go for that. I tried to put my foot down with having an additional tv in the bedroom, but lost there as well. It's never on when I'm home. I like the idea of raising my kids without the distraction. I'd rather they play outside.
Having some time to yourself does make you a better mom. Glad you are taking advantage!
Ashley @ http://www.thestorkandthebeanstalk.com
Me-time is SO important. I'm married and have a delightful husband but I SWEAR it is like cutting teeth to get a minute to myself. I love my times in the evenings when we meet at our house to "join" cars and go pick her up together. I get a WHOLE THIRTY minutes. To pluck my eyebrows without little hands asking for tweezers, to drink a soda which little hands don't allow, to plant a flower, to lay on my bed, you know, whatever little things I want to do. I mean, I don't even take a bath alone or sleep alone so…and working, well, it is not me-time. It is work. 🙂
I love how you always make the best of everything.
Oh, and a beer or cocktail before shopping is the jam. If you do it with a friend, it is even better!!
I keep trying to get rid of our tv but my sports nut husband wont let me. 🙁
P.S – I'm giving away a Clean Air Kate doll that Marlowe might like, if you want to enter. 🙂
http://greenbabygreenmama.com/clean-air-kate-giveaway/
I also hate to shop. Glad to hear there's someone else out there. And I agree with you about TV, although we do own one we only use it for movie watching. Now that people can watch tv where and when they want it without commercials it has become a whole other animal, though. Great that you have a day all to yourself! I only just began taking yoga again – one hour twice a week to myself and it makes a world of difference.
My husband and I flip schedules – me M-F, 8-5 and him doubles on the weekends and Friday day. We used to have a friend who watched our 14 month old son but have switched to daycare just last week. My husband gets off at 3pm on Fridays and I told him to just go home. We had paid for the entire day and he might as well enjoy a few hours alone. When my son and I got home at 5ish he was so refreshed just from 2 hours alone! It really does make a difference.
My fiance and I don't have cable…but we do have Netflix. Which amounts to about the same thing, only cheaper! I am hoping to go TV free when we have kids though. There is certainly no limit to non-tv entertainment once kids arrive!
Ah, netflix can be a wonderful thing. I don't have my own account, but I do sign into Eric's when I am craving a real good documentary! I totally recommend making the switch to a TV free home, you can always fall back on the internet for snow days or sick days or movie nights!
dude. i need some of that me time myself. i get nothing, months go by… and i don't get to go anywhere without the kids. in about four months i went to a friends house two weeks ago by myself and it felt great to have girl time and just relax. but i need it more often.
but being away for just a couple hours is totally a recharge and makes you way happier when you get your baby back! glad you're enjoying your time off. its totally necessary to get breaks when you have kids! xo!
I have more "me-time" now than I did when being with Alex. It's a trade off. More (very little) help, and less time, or almost zero help: more me time.
At least you have cute kids, right? 😉
Hi there!
I just found your blog and love love love it!
I just had my 2nd child 3 weeks ago, we were thinking of naming her Marlowe but ended up going with Charlie, My husband and I have a deal that if we have another girl I get to call her Marlowe, Love the name.
Anyway I'm really happy to have found your blog and look forward to reading more, Marlowe is super cute and your house is amazing.
Kristy
Ah, Charlie is also a FABULOUS name!
nope, that mom mode never shuts off 😉
and yes, you (and all mamas) need alone time to relax. i think it makes you a better mama. it gives you more patience. even if it's just an hour here or there.
and….i cannot believe you watch desperate housewives????? lol.
Without shame, I will admit, I also enjoy watching: gossip girl, jersey shore, modern family, teen mom, and 30 rock. WITHOUT SHAME.
oh and any day now mad men will be starting YAY!!!
Like I said: guilty pleasures. 😉
oh and every few weeks I get caught up on parenthood…. and this past week: I even cried while watching it. #damnhormones
oh jersey shore, what am i going to do with you girl! lol.
omg, we have mad men on our calendar. we're so excited. we already have plans to make our martinis and sit around and watch it 😉 i may even have to throw on a frilly dress.
I'm sure being a single mom is ridiculously hard! Like can't even imagine (my mom was one with FIVE of us) but man I'd love a full day a week to myself! I think.My husband works 12-14 hrs a day 5-6 days a week and when he is home we all try to be togtether and it's hard! Spending every waking minute with one little person can Really try your patience. I'm sure I'd be like you and dread it when it was coming- but also enjoy the most of it. Now that my 4 year old started preschool I have about 4 hrs a week to myself, sometimes will steal an hr or two on a weekend alone but that's about once a month and those precious hours will soon be gone with this baby coming in April!
When Alex lived with us, that was his schedule. He'd be gone a absolute minimum of 12 hours a day 5 days week, but usually more. It was hard… honestly, probably more difficult than now. Of course my situation was very different, but now I don't have the anxiety of waiting for someone or the anxiety of being lied to constantly. And now, once she's in bed, she's in bed. Thats it. I don't have to entertain anyone else, or wait for anyone. It just me-time again. What did help, was that hour or two alone I would occasionally (but rarely get). Take every single moment you can and enjoy it…. until April 😉
Oh, I know exactly what you mean. I am constantly in Mum mode, I have often found myself pulling funny faces at other family members without realizing.
http://tinydais.blogspot.com
haha!
we don't have TV as well & it's liberating. It cracks me up how people can't fathom the idea, whenever we tell people they're like "what do you do?" & I'm like "everything!"
exactly! So much more is accomplish! You can't get sucked into one show.. . or 5. 😉
"Me-Time" is very important, enjoy.
🙂
Where's your iPhone case from/is it avocado green or is that just the picture? I've been looking for an avocado green iPhone case for quite some time
it's grey 🙁
Love that last photo of you- so cute. Question: How do you shower without anyone to watch Marlowe? I mean, assuming you don't lock her in the bathroom with you. Not that I've ever done that.
Usually I put up a baby gate between me in the bathroom and Marlowe. Sounds terrible locking her OUT of the room I'm in…. but it's not. 98% of the time she sites there at the gate throwing shoes over it, into the bathroom. The other two% she is in my closet which is 100% viewable from my bathroom, trying on my shoes. And of course, many of my showers are either: when she naps, when she's in bed, or when I ask a baby sitter to stay 20 minutes longer so I can get a shower in.
Great post! I'm not surprised that you don't have a t.v. – I don't either. Nor do I have internet at my apartment. I used to but I feel like I accomplish more without it not to mention I get more craft projects done. xo, rv
http://aneclecticheap.blogspot.com/
Ah! I love and hate being without internet! You are brave!