I’ve been feeling a little bit trapped in a few areas in my life. All my dreams and plans I keep talking about, well, I can’t help but second guess them once eight pm hits and I’m struggling to get enough accomplished before Marlowe goes to bed… only to get more accomplished after she does. I want to believe the world is your oyster… and anything is possible, because well, it kind of is… but it’s hard not to question “when will dreams and goals really be possible?” when you’re responsible in raising a kid (by yourself). I’ve found myself a bit surprised to not feel trapped in this home. When I signed the paperwork a few months back, there was this creeping thought in the back of my mind “oh shit, I will never be able to move again.” For someone who’s spent their whole entire life running (even up to three months before moving here), this… well this can be a VERY scary thought. But here I am, and while I do think, from time to time, how amazing it would be to be able to live somewhere other than america (spain, brazil, italy, greece—even in your economic hard times: I dream of your landscapes.), I’m REALLY happy in this home… and I have no plans to even think about leaving any time soon.
I said it before, but with alex’s new schedule… my downtime, my me time, my let me accomplish my dreams time, it’s nonexistent… so I’m still working on doing the next best thing: if I can’t leave the house to spend a few moments with friends, then I want to continue, as much as possible, to bring them here. If there’s food, they will come, right? 🙂
ps. thanks for all your support with my big one day plans… and in general. the emails, comments, tweets, DMs, and whatever else, really brighten my days (and nights) <3
11 Comments
I completely understand your frustrations with not having the time to do what you really want to do. I am in the same boat. But I try to tell myself that it is only temporary and that it will, indeed, get better. Hang in there. You are not alone.
It is so hard to find any time to yourself when you have a little child, and so many things restrict what you can do and where you can go. But hold on to your dreams, keep them close, do just a little towards them when you can. Thank you for your lovely and inspirational blog Drea, I do so enjoy reading it.
We're right around the same age; I do not have a child, and you are light years ahead of me and my "let me accomplish my dreams" time. So, there's that. 😉 I feel like at 26 I still have big bright shiny dreams like a little girl would and I'm still trying to figure it all out and not be so intimated by diving head first and the possibility of failure. You are an inspiration, sweet darling. Keep on keepin' on.
I feel the same way. I am also a single mother and there's is so much I would like to get accomplished, especially with my 30th birthday coming up at this year's end. Keep dreaming! Make it happen.
Theresa
http://bomamma.blogspot.com
Hi Drea,
When I got pregnant with my son (he is now 23 months old), I was pretty nervous and feeling isolated (none of our friends at the time had kids). I started looking for mommy bloggers to follow and your was one of the first I found on Top baby blogs. I have been a regular follower ever since (though not officially – I like to lurk as a somewhat shy person). Anyway, I know you probably hear this all the time, but I figure it's the kind of thing you might need to be reminded of from time to time. Your blog has been an ongoing comfort to me as a new mom (I'm NOT the only one who has these thoughts) and an inspiration (she is a single mom and she makes the time to socialize, to work on her hobbies, to take photos, to love life). I have a daughter now too and I decided at the end of the year that I was going to start my own blog, and get back to something that makes me happy – writing. I think my journey reading your blog has been a big part of my being able to make it happen since you just seem to GO FOR IT on a daily basis. I think if I was as young (in years) as you, I would be inclined to play it safe and you just go full out every day. That is a total inspiration to countless readers, but most importantly, to Marlowe. You keep it up Drea…you will likely never know how many people's lives you have touched.
I totally understand how you feel. I feel like I am living my live on hold. Not what I had imagined it would be like. Some days I feel powerless to change it, some days I don't. I look up to you for how much you do, and how much you've done! "All good things come in time" is what I keep saying to myself….
Yes, if there if food they will surely come! 🙂
Thanks for being an inspiration to me and my family.
♥
I somewhat know how you feel. I too am a single parent, although with our court agreement I DO get my "me" time at least once a week. Unlike you though I don't have my own place (yet…), but I do hope to live in a nice place such as yours so my kid can grow up in a nice place.
Just remember with your dreams and everything else, there is no time limit, and your little one won't be a child forever. If your dream is to travel or live in a different country you can certainly do so, maybe not now, or soon, but someday 🙂 Your life at this time next year will be completely different than what it is now, just like it's completely different than it was last year or previous year <3. Don't let worries and anxieties take over, you can work on your dreams, piece by piece.
Small steps. Everyday.
We love you and want to see you more… If anything to keep you here. mwa.
Hi Drea,
i have been lovely & inspiring reading your blog for a while yet havent ever commented till now.The world IS your oyster and if you really really want something then you can most definetely make it happen, it may take longer than you thought and it may not look like you imagined it to be, but you are a truly inspiring woman and i know you can do anything you put your mind to.
im greek and had to leave greece 2 years ago and live abroad cause of the economic crisis,i think of my countries beautiful landscape everyday and that gives me the strength to go on…i truly hope you make it there one day!but for now i am sending you strength and positive vibes x
you are such an inspiration!!thank you!
Galia
http://thisboyofmine.blogspot.com/