I decided to sit on our smaller couch by the window a few days ago. We almost never sit on the smaller couch… but the sliding door was open and the nicest breeze was blowing in. Marlowe came over and asked why I was sitting on this couch. I told her, “because it is nice out and I am enjoying the outside.” She came and sat next to me and for a good twenty minutes we just sat on this rarely used couch, staring outside, and sharing a bowl of barbecue chips (our weakness). We eat A LOT of healthy things… 99.7% of the time, but I’m still allowed my vices 🙂
Marlowe and I, we talk a lot. About real things and crazy toddler things. There a lot of questions everyday. Sometimes too many. I’m not sure what prompted our conversation, but we starting talking about siblings. I asked Marlowe is she understood what brothers and sisters were. And I told her she didn’t have any. She looked confused and upset and insisted that I was her sister. I told her I wasn’t. Sure, I may look like a teeny-bopper most of the time, but I’m her mother, not her sister. I went on to tell her that some people have one brother or one sister and some people have a lot of brothers or a lot of sisters, and some don’t have any, but that can pretty good too. I went on to tell her, “Mama got really lucky and had one kid who was super amazing, nice, smart, and awesome, and I didn’t need or want anymore, just that one.” She looked confused again, but this time pleased… and in the sweetest voice, she asked, “me?” I filled up with a big smile and said, “Yes, of course!” She smiled and was happy, but went on again, with her questions and stated, “but I want a sister!” I told her that I understood, but sometimes things don’t work out that way. And she exclaimed “BUT, I know! Lily can be my sister!” and I told her that was the best idea in the whole entire world. Lily (and all her other friends) can truly be her sisters.
Alex and I, we had the talk again, about one kid vs. two. I brought it up after a two week span of lots of hangouts with my friend Steph and watching my baby brother. I had this itching question, needing to know whether Alex would really be okay not ever having another…. and especially a son. I knew I was okay with it, and he knew if I was okay with it, but I wasn’t absolutely certain that if he would really be or not…. and well, thats half of a really big family decision, ya know? Luckily, a big relief came to me when I found he shared my sentiments… never imagining having an only child, but getting to this place and realizing complete contentment with only one. We both know that one, two, three children, they would all be awesome and add something new to our life, but the one we have? We made out pretty good. And not having a second daughter or a son at all, well that’s okay. Because really, it’s not what we don’t have in this life, but it’s what we make with what we do have, that’s important.
I know I sound like a broken record lately, but I just feel so grateful for the friendships (and everything else) in my life. I’d be completely lost without all the amazing friendships I hold. I feel like I go in and out of weeks of choosing to spend a lot of time alone and (Almost) completely disconnected, to weeks filled with seeing loving familiar faces every.single.day. I’m in a surround myself with friends phase this week. I’ve spent each day this week with someone I love. I crave and love both these. But every time I climb back into busy days with friends, my heart grows that much bigger. It brings a big smile to my face that Marlowe, at three years old, can already so innocently (and perfectly) claim that a good friend can be a sister. She’ll make out pretty good in life by thinking this way.
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Also, on being grateful… I know most, if not all of us know about the devastation going on in the Philippines. It’s heartbreaking. Money can be tight sometimes, but I donated what I could… and in my over thinking anxiety mind, it’s never enough (because really, it isn’t). I’ve thought maybe it could be a good idea if for the next two months or so, 100% of all ohdeardrea small ad sales will be donated to the Red Cross to aid the Philippines. (unless you can recommend of a better organization). I’ve also added a discount code, if that helps entice any. OHDEARSHARE for 20% off. Purchase your ad (for a good cause) HERE, or donate directly to them of course.
15 Comments
This makes me a little sad, only because I know lots of other awesome, and SMART people that are taking the same one child route…..I have a fear that our world is slowly being over run by not so smart/less awesome people because they are the ones having more than one child….. anyway, I'm not trying to start something or say I think you're wrong, because i don't. Just stating my opinion. totally respect you, love your blog and think you're awesome! thanks for sharing such sweet snippets of your life with us!
I just love your blog, and I really, REALLY admire your honesty and ability to show yourself to the world. Keeps me comin' back for more, time and time again! Tammy x
http://www.ladytam-tam.com
Thank you for keeping our country in your thoughts and helping out in your own way! May God bless you and your family a hundred-fold! -from your reader in the Philippines who finds your blog nice and inspiring.
what a fun little chair! that is so cool!
kels
storiesofkel.blogspot.com
Thank you 🙂
What a sweet post. We have a little sofa here, and quite often I sit down on it and all three boys squash on there with me. I think Marlow will always have lots of sisters, she knows how to make friends and how to be a friend. Bless you for your generosity to the people of the Philippines. You are an amazing woman Drea.
<3<3<3 You're always so sweet, cj!
what a beautiful post! you did make out really well with marlowe. she's such a special little girl! what more could you want? 😉
Thank you 🙂 she's a good kid. attitude-y at times, but overall, I give her a 10!
Hola Drea,te escribo en español porque se que lo entiendes y para mi es mas facil que en ingles.Yo estoy en una situación muy parecida, tenemos una hija de 3 años y aunque yo siempre quise tener otr@ mas, mi vida ahora mismo esta tan en equilibrio en todos los sentidos que temo que al tener otro todo esto se rompa.Tras tener a Sara, como pareja tuvimos bastantes problemas por todos los cambios que se dieron en nuestras vidas y pasado el tiempo lo superamos y a nivel pareja estamos muy bien.Aunque yo trabajo fuera de casa durante 8 horas al dia,le dedico tiempo a mi hija, a jugar con ella, a cocinar con ella, a pintar con ella etc etc.También tengo tiempo para mi, para ir al gimnasio o quedar con las amigas.Tener otro hijo seguro que nos aportaría muchos momentos de alegrías y diversión pero quizás se rompería este equilibrio:menos tiempo para mi y para Sara, para nosotros como pareja…Luego tambien pienso que no todos los hermanos se llevan bien, algunos se celan y pelean….Sara es muy sociable y seguro que encuentra en alguna amiga a la hermana que no tiene,no me cabe duda de ello.En fin que estoy totalmente de acuerdo contigo.Un saludo desde España
misdiasconsara.blogspot.com
Hello dear!
We share the same exact sentiments! Life has such a good balance right now, I don't want to change it 🙂 Happy moms + happy families = happy kids 🙂
<3
we always have this discussion too, the decision to have another child is a hard one, i can't wait to come to a final one!
the good thing is…. there's usually time for change if you want it 🙂
Lily can absolutely be her sister. not just because she is and will be an only child also but because she too loves and misses M. and i do the same. solo and then saturation. it's all good. xoxo
You're my sister friend too. <3<3<3
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