So home has been good. Probably better than I expected it to be. If anything, I’m just a bit antsy. Perhaps it’s the fact that I’ve been stuck in a bed for four or five months now– but now, out of nowhere, my mind is racing the all the things I could and should do— thankfully I’m having more energy to actually do all those things now too.

I had a few rough days after I got back here. A lot of my brain fog came back and hit me hard— not only was it difficult on me physically, but also emotionally. But I just kept telling myself it would pass, just as it had before. I started a new probiotic (that I’m a bit nervous about— I’m not sure why) and I felt really bad for two to three days (herxing/ die-off is jerk) but I pushed through and continued on—- and after the third day the fog cleared and I had more energy than I have had in months! It was amazing and something unexpected, in the best way. So now, I’m back to mostly functioning. I haven’t driven in a while and I don’t really care to— at least on the highway. But I did make it the mile and a half to yoga and I plan to do it more locally and especially to pick up marlowe from school.

I still have days where it feels like my stomach is under attack and it makes me incredibly nauseous— and where I look like I’m a good four to five months pregnant, but thats a new normal. My diet is still basically the same as before. I have (rather uncomfortably) added a tiny bit more lentils— but thats about it. Other than that, my diet is still, well, very tight. And I still have days that I would describe as “ouch everything hurts”  especially the pain in my arms and upper body, but it isn’t anywhere near as bad as it was in Massachusetts. It’s been MUCH easier to handle. Overall I feel a lot more mended. Which I’m hesitant to say– because it seems that every time I think I’m on the up, I fall back down, but at the end of the day I have no choice but to be a hopeless hopeful 😉

Another new thing? Well, I’m more allergic to dogs than before. I developed a dog allergy when I became pregnant, but it was never a huge issue— I could keep a dog, I just couldn’t hold a dog. But now, a few strokes of a dogs head and I’m unbearably itchy and irritated. I knew c. diff could and would (and has) leave me with some food allergies, but I didn’t really expect to wake up with a sore throat and itchy eyes due to my dogs. I’m really not sure whats going to happen with that.

Marlowe is happy to be home. She’s beyond excited for school (she’s at her first day now!!) and she talks about planning her birthday everyday, even though its well over a month away. Life is really going to change now that she is going to school— though I’m not sure how, but I know it will. For now, I’m not overthinking it, I’m just letting it happen and see where life takes us.

Alex is happy to have us home too. He was lonely and alone for a while there. I’m hoping to have a staycation or at least a few date nights now that I’m back. We had our first day date type day today after we dropped off marlowe at school and before he went to work. We’ve been working on a lot of house stuff since I’ve been back. Moving things, changing things, fixing up the things we already have— it’s just something we both seem to really enjoy. High fives all around when we find new shared loves like label makers 😉

The weather has been A LOT nicer than I thought it would be. I’m so thankful to not feel trapped inside! (Thank you florida). I’m hoping to find a good balanced routine between home things, work things, married time things, yoga time, and friends now that I’m back. Oh and celebrating my cookbook too! (Which definitely took the back burner in all of this.) You can buy it now for less than twenty bucks on amazon! Only two months till it’s officially out and in my hands. whoa.

Thank you guys for your support in this process. It was really rough. Five months of sickness? Oof, no thanks. I definitely didn’t expect that for 2015— but I’m back to feeling mostly normal, or at least more like myself 😉 and even though it’s all far from perfect, I’m grateful to have it this good again. So thank you for being with me in the rough times and being here through the good. Your support is always very much appreciated.

Alright, I’m off for a 10-15 minute nap— I was awake from 1 am to 4 am last night– my sleep issues will never change 😉 But now I have the freedom for a quick nap if needed– and I’m going to take it! Happy monday and have a wonderful week, friends!

ps. that top photo? we bought a label maker. Best decision ever. Alex left me a note and I organized our entire spice cabinet 😉 

10 Comments

  1. Have the rest, take the time, do what you do best. I'm happy you're home and life goes on in the good direction. All great vibes to you, Drea xx

  2. So glad to hear you're doing so well and settling back into your new rhythm at home. Youhave come so very far! Every precious minute of renewed health is a gift but also something yo have fought hard for and I know you'll keep going.. so happy for all of you, and wish i Marlowe a great first school year! Wow, so much to look forward to. Good for you:)

  3. Glad to hear your cookbook is still coming out through all of your difficulties this year. I for one look forward to reading it/trying the recipes out 🙂

  4. It's good to see you back home, and I'm glad you're feeling positive at the moment. I hope Marlowe has a wonderful time at school, it's a whole new adventure. CJ xx

  5. I am so happy to read you are feeling better. When I saw more posts, I was hoping this was the cause 🙂 My son starts Kindergarten in September. I am terrified!!! Hope Marlowe's first day is awesome!

  6. I really, just can't imagine all you've been going through. I'm so sorry. Before reading about your unfortunate experience with C. Diff….I've never heard of it. Or, maybe I had but it never stuck to me. After reading about your health issues, I've been seeing mention of C. Diff everywhere. Even in a new book I started reading about Baby Poop (my 4 month old is terribly constipated, was colicky, excessive spit-up) to hopefully provide some comfort to my baby. In it, the author spends a few paragraphs talking about C. Diff, and of course I thought of you. There's even mention of a procedure that's still being tested I think? It's not "mainstream" yet, says the book. But stool transplants is totally a thing that is happening to help C. Diff sufferers. And it said that they had 90% success with their trials AND it either said there was NO return or minimal return of the issues for these patients. AND….as gross as it sounds, the recipients of the new poop are really benefiting from good flora in their new, healthy poop! I don't know if you've heard of this, looked in to this, considered this…but I HAD to say something in case you hadn't. Girl, hoping you feel better and that you figure out a solid game plan/plan of attack. Not having answers is torture and frustrating. Sending good, healing vibes your way. xoxo -Misty