I watched this TEDtalk a few months ago about making decisions. And the woman was saying there are two types of people. The people who created they’re life path because they chose everything (or almost everything) that led them to that point. And the people whose life paths were created because they accidentally stepped or fell into each direction– no choices made. That’s me. The one who’s life was made by falling (or swimming, if we want to sound more graceful about it) into each stage. I’m not the most decisive person, I rarely know what I want. I’m only good for stating what I don’t want. Well, usually. Sometimes I don’t even state what I don’t want, I just rather avoid confrontation and live with discomfort. Career, parenthood, any jobs I’ve ever had, big things and moments in my life, I mostly fell (or swam) into. I didn’t wake up one day and decide, “I’m ready for kids, I should become a mother” or “I’m going to become a blogger” it all just sort of happened. I mean, even with Alex, I sort of just fell into that too. And I chose to stay through all the good shit and bad shit (discomfort) to be where I am now. And to be quite honest, I’m okay with being a person who just goes with the ebbs and flows of life, without making a lot of big decisions. I guess the hard part is when it is time to make decisions, life changing decisions– I mean, then what? Not that hard choices are really easy for anyone, but certainly not for someone who’s never really made them. I mean, I guess there were small decisions I’ve made everyday in every which direction, yes, but I did mostly fall into everything.
There’s been a few hurricanes this week.
I mean, the kitchen looks like a hurricane went through it right now, but I’m choosing to let myself be lethargic. I could push through and get up and do it (and I probably will in just a bit). For now, I’m okay randomly staring off and just feeling.
The actual hurricane, well, we certainly got a bit lucky with that one. It was headed directly towards us, but as the day went on it slowly changed its course and our city on got passed. We had some winds, some rain, but nothing worse than a bad summer storm here. I took a few photos from the day, but really, it was like a lazy rainy day sleepover party. And of course, I mean that in a good way.
Health wise, well, I haven’t had a voice in almost a week. I’ve been feeling mostly okay, but the joke of the week is that I’ve been spring break partying too hard. Of course I haven’t though. Well, I actually did go out last night, but otherwise it’s been quiet over here. But I don’t really feel that sick. I just feel like I’ve been detoxing. Which I have been. But I can’t 100% tell if all this random mucus I have is due to a detox process or a virus. It feels and I hope it’s the cleaning out system in my body. Apparently going completely raw was just too hard on my body. I’ve done two week raw detoxes (a cleanse guide available HERE), but I’ve never had very difficult detox symptoms. It makes sense that I would now though, after the c. diff and not eating ANY raw foods for an entire year and a half?! My body is like “whoa whoa whoa drea, take it easy” so this weekend I have been eating a bit more cooked food (fried tostones too mmmmm) and I plan to patiently (ugh) transition more slowly into raw veganism. Again, patience is not my strong suite. It’s just that I know I want to really try this diet— and having to transition into it, is not something I want to do. I wanted it to be immediate. But you know, thats life. I’ll write more of a post about it, maybe at the end of the week? Foods I’ve been eating, the symptoms I’ve been experiencing, etc. But for now, I’ll say, I really truly believe that this is gong to make a HUGE difference on my life, once it fully happens.
Emotionally I’m sort of all over the place. I mean, I’m still straight faced and not like outwardly a mess or anything, but my head is just sort of floating in space. Not overly sad, not overly happy. Life just feels extra strange right now. The air has felt different this week. It blew in with the hurricane. Or right before actually. An energy shift. Detoxing can make people a bit more irritable and moody– but I haven’t felt that at all. I’ve actually felt more calm than usual, given my current circumstances. Maybe because I haven’t had to cut-out sugars, wheat, or milk? I believe those are the main things that cause irritability when you remove them. I cut out wheat and dairy a long time ago, obviously. And it’s SO rare for me to have processed sugar– if anything I actually added a whole lot more natural sugar in my life. Anyway, I’m going off on a tangent— I guess the reality is I’m trying to figure out what my emotions actually are this week.
Anyway, I’m fading. I hope that even half of this makes sense. It’s hard to tell if I’m just typing out a jumbled mess or if I’m actually putting out ideas that people can understand and process the same way the ideas flow in my head. Okay, I should stop typing now. I hope everyone had a good weekend. I hope anyone who was in the hurricanes path made it out unharmed and happy. I’m going to sit my butt down tomorrow to get the recipes up for tomorrow night or the next night, at the latest. Thanks for being here, friends. And thanks for playing todays episode of the “what the hell is drea saying tonight?” game 😉