It took me a bit of effort to not write this post a few hours ago while in my somewhat frustrated and saddened state. A few hours later, I’m less upset, yes… but still maybe a little queasy to handle too. Forgive me for all typos and writing mishaps. But of course I know if you guys read this space daily, these jumbled words and typing mishaps are nothing new to you. My writing has never been great (I know), but I also know it has undoubtedly and significantly worsened in the past two to three years.

I just have so little energy in my everyday life since getting sick. I mean, sometimes I’m good and my mind is clear, but I often still struggle too. I also know that I probably test my body a lot more than I probably should, given its recent state. You can choose whats most fitting for my life: “glutton for punishment” or “aching for a life of adventure.”

I’ve had a lot of questions over the past week about travel. In regards to savings, planning, staying health, parenting, etc. But aside writing another post on money and budgeting– don’t worry, I will do this later, but biggest tip or post on travel would be to br,ing an awareness of unpredictability.

With travel: You can’t plan for everything. You just gotta do it, hope for the best, and adjust as needed.

That’s it.

Oh and it hopes to roll with it, and enjoy it through and through.

(A lot like life, isn’t it?)

You guys have seen our plans change and change again this year. We’ve adjusted and made it through each time. I knew full and well that planning a giant international trip might-possibly-maybe not be in my overall best interest (health wise). I mean, my stomach wasn’t doing great in Massachusetts (never does), so why would I think it would do great in Nepal? I mean… I knew it wouldn’t, haha, but I went for it anyway. You know, a hope for the best.

Oddly enough my stomach / body did better in the first week in Nepal than it did the entire time in France. I thought France would be the easy part, but again, you can’t plan for everything. My stomach started feeling a bit better the first day or so in Nepal. And it was pretty good up until about two days ago when I woke up about an hour into sleep knowing I was full on in for a long night. I ate the same meals as both Marlowe and Alex. We shared the same drinks. We did all the precautionary things, but still, my stomach is a delicate one, even more than Marlowe’s little one.

A good day and a half and 101.whatever fever later, I was feeling slightly better. Enough to stand, brush my teeth, take down a few boiled potatoes. Not much, but something. A few hours later, everyone had dinner– and then Marlowe was put to bed.  An hour or so later, she was awakened with tears, pain, and the need to rid herself of everything out of her body… you know, the vomit. Just an overall feeling of unwell. Her long night and rough day was ahead of her too. Thankfully, better off than me, but still, no one wants to see their kid sick and struggling.

We both woke up unwell today. My stomach hasn’t felt normal since my miscarriage. And expelling everything out of my body in the mountains of Nepal didn’t help either. I’m just not really into that sort of detox, you know? If we want to get more into details (not the gross ones, but more the ones that my mom would hate)— we were in what felt like a place a million miles away from any sort of help. We were the only guests at a mountain resort (there were hardly any staff there too). And the only way out? An hour-long ride down a dangerous (often tiny) dirty cliff back into the city. Not really the ideal place to get sick (not that any place is ideal, but you get it).

But that wasn’t the hard part. I guess that’s the “life is an adventure!” part. The hard part is deciding when you have to say, “Stop.”  –when you have to decide, how much more forward do we go into this and when you have to admit, “I don’t want to do this, but we have to change the plans.” I don’t think many of us (or any of us) like change that is forced on us. But it is inevitably and undoubtedly a part of travel, and certainly a part of life in general. Time and time again our family has learned this lesson well.

And so, the hardest part of this across the world journey, wasn’t necessarily the pollution (though that was tough), or making sure we were safe (we’ve been fine, relatively), or going back and forth between throwing up on an icy floor and passing out in between each session with a painful body aching fever (though that obviously sucked hard). The hardest part was deciding, that maybe it was time to call it today. Not because any of us feel our lives are in danger– we don’t. And not because we don’t think we could get better here (we could at some point). But it’s been tough, because we’ve invested a lot of time, money, and so many hopes into this next coming part of the trip. And now we have to change it.

It’s not a “now this will never happen” feeling. But more of a let down we can’t control and can choose to be upset or just keep on truckin’ forward.

Alex and I both agree that had this just been him and I, we’d continue on the trip. No matter where I am in the world, my stomach just needs time to heal post stress of pregnancy and miscarriage. I can be in our home in florida or have a world away in Nepal, and I still have issues I need to fix again.

But this isn’t just us. This is also the sleepy little bear I have in front of me. The one I’m raising to adventure. The one I want to raise with kindness and thoughtfulness, and an eagerness to see more— with an extra mindful-eye. Traveling around the world is not only totally possible and doable– with kids and certainly alone too. But if getting deathly sick taught me anything, it was that it’s okay to slow down, to enjoy just what I have sitting right in front of me, and not just live in a mindset where I’m waiting for the next big adventure to come.

I mean, I’d be totally and completely lying to you guys if I didn’t tell you that I have in fact spent at least forty-five minutes of today figuring out where my family can go next. We never made it to the part of trip we all longed for most– the warm sandy beach and cool coconuts, but that doesn’t mean we didn’t love the moments we spent trying to get there.

We did.

The last two and half – three weeks has been a great adventure. And I cant wait to share more with you guys. And more than that, I cant wait to look back one day and share these moments with Marlowe. We’ll talk about the time we tried to climb the Eiffel tower, but didn’t. And the time we tried to see the Himalayas, but didn’t. And the time we tried to see a Kumari, but didn’t. And the time we flew all the way across the world with a hope to adventure to India– and made it oh so very close… but changed everything in the last-minute. It’s not that we couldn’t do it, we just didn’t… but maybe next time we will. We’ll then open up another post here on the blog or another memory book somewhere, and we can look at all the other fantastic moments we did make on this trip and others… like the time that we did finally make it to India… (one day).

It’ll all be good. And great. And better. But even now, well, it’s pretty rad too.

 

PS. friends, if you need me, I’ll be facing more fears and officially going on the longest flight of my life this week. We fly out of Kathmandu tomorrow. Arrive to Doha tomorrow afternoon. We’re opting for an airport hotel there, because the only thing that could get me to sleep on a plane was first class, and I don’t have anywhere near that sort of budget now. And then? Let the good times roll— because 15 hours of straight travel, a million miles (slight exaggeration) above the earth I’ll be as we fly straight into Boston. We’re still planning New Orléans at the end of the month — and you better believe I’ll be scouting out all the possible beach vacation options and re-planning india in the time between then.

PPS. Call it god, or rama, karma, the universe, technically glitch or whatever you want to believe in, but something was intact on my side yesterday. Moments before I climbed into bed… just before Marlowe started puking I tried to book flights home from India. Flights heading out of Cochin for the 15th of February. Two credit cards, two web browsers, and three devices later, my flights did not get booked. I was exhausted, feeling ill, and called it. I said, ” I don’t feel well. I’ll worry about this tomorrow. I need to go to bed.”  Not long, Marlowe woke me. Life wouldn’t have been over had we booked those flights. But life certainly was easier knowing we wouldn’t take a financial hit spending so much money for flights home. I mean, we’ll def lose a money changing our plans– and no one likes that, but it could have been worse. Some technology glitch magic was finally on my side.

Alright friends. I need to go to bed. My stomach is queasy beyond belief. I gotta take care of myself too. But I wanted to pop in with an update and what I think might be a good tip/reminder. I’ll be working on answering all your questions on this longest flight of my life. Talk soon, k? Thanks for being here.

5 Comments

  1. Hugs and thoughts with you guys. Breathe in, breathe out. You are the strongest person I know. xx

  2. I imagine the physical and emotional difficulties, but I also always thank you always for your honesty. It really frustrates me to read the blogs of “perfect” sooo people with perfect paths, perfect decisions, houses or perfect life. I like to feel identified with you, feel sometimes.

    I hope you are better soon and know about you!

    xoxo, Karen,

    I’m waiting for your visit in california, some day…

  3. But that’s the beauty, isn’t it? The unexpected and need to rise and persevere. Keep going! In whatever direction, even if that’s home.

  4. i’m so sorry for all you’ve been through lately. you are doing an amazing job with keeping a positive perspective. those places aren’t going anywhere. take care of yourself — they will be waiting for you to return! 🙂