It is so crazy to me that a month has come and gone. We flew to Mexico over a month ago now. We rented a place and made it our home. And now, with with fleeing time, our moment in this space is gone. Thirty days done, and we’re saying goodbye to Playa Del Carmen and hello to the road. I’m excited for our two week road trip away. But I’m also sad… because this means we’re one step closer to heading home, to Florida.
It’s crazy to think what life would have been liked if, in the beginning of everything, we had picked to move to Mexico instead of Guatemala. I still would have gotten pregnant, and more than likely I still would have miscarried, but would we have gone home at all? I’m not sure. I honestly feel like we would have stayed. Like we wouldn’t be packing up and heading back to Florida at all. But I’ll never really know. No one will.
Cant we just stay? Sort of, but not without consequences. And so, we’re heading back. And we’ll see what the future holds… later. Without planning.
I’ll miss the acai bowls made with real acai and not sherbet too. Haha, I’m not sure whether its funny or pathetic that we cant find real acai bowls in Florida. Honestly, it almost makes sense… since everything leans towards processed and not fresh.
Alex asked if it would be crazy for us to build a tiny pool like this in our yard… maybe even smaller. And part of me is like, no this is totally doable. And part of me is like, I’d rather not save and spend that money— I’d rather save the money to move. You know? And look, plants coming in to my lunch seating. The best.
Camouflaged.
Packing up her backpack. A day the wifi went out and I needed to connect. She joined me with her coloring set.
Hot and sweaty mid day walks.
Popsicle stops to cool those mid day walks.
Brave men.
Tiny community markets.
Market runs.
quirky shops to explore.
When closed restaurants are your playground.
The cutest puppy in the window.
I wish I could be uplifting about our upcoming changes. But the truth is I know it’s going to hit me hard. I think for the most part I’m okay and trying to look at all the positives. And silly enough, the time I find myself most sad or falling into the negative thoughts is when I’m out looking at home good items to decorate our house. It’s so obvious. I’m blatantly trying to distract myself by finding and buying pretty things to make our home feel like Central America. Yet I know full and well, that no matter what I do, I’ll still be trapped in the box that is Florida. Stuck in a stiff air-conditioned box with no room for real air.
Each item we look at to potentially purchase stirs up emotions. Part of me thinks: decorate anyway. Make it a space you love, even if you are trapped indoors. And part of me thinks, why bother? Maybe time will move quickly and the purchases will be more insignificant than they were in the first place. I wont need them if and when I come back.
I’m dreading indoor life again. As I sit here now, I’m salty… and sweaty… and to be honest, I dont smell the freshest, and I could use a shower. But I would choose this over and over again before sitting with closed windows and air-conditioning. We’re not meant to live inside, without sun and air.
But I am trying. And I’m going to do my best to pack up and go into the future with open arms, hoping for the best. Our plan to shift and move changed over and over again. Just like life does… And I’m doing my best to enjoy every single last moment of these eight months away. And I’m going to do my best to bring and squeeze as much life and color from life as I can when we return.
For now, I’m going to take this all in. Each week, day, hour that passes. I’m enjoying it now, because like life, it’s moving too quickly.
ps. I miss Guatemala like crazy too. But Mexico feels like home.
17 Comments
Well, obviously, I did not last very long is SoFlo. The pictures can make it look like paradise but the lived experiences of living in certain places are completely different from appearances. I’ve been much happy living in North Florida, and one of those reasons being because we do live a lot of our life outside here year round. Mexico looks amazing. I am selfishly hoping you move there so I can plan a visit!
Come eat real açai bowls with me at under the mango tree on Miami Beach. No sherbet involved. Also, always happy to sit outside in the hot Florida sun and humidity. I kind of like it and don’t mind being sweaty and swampy. Florida can Pete great we have the Everglades, Biscayne national Park, beautiful sunsets, and mango season is coming! Xxxx
PS Mexico looks legit amaze balls and totally understand why you don’t want to leave. Hugs!
I’ve never been to under the mango tree– I always want to go! Do you know Jo and her son Mika? Jo works there– I keep promising I’ll stop in. I need to. We always talk about going back to miami— at least there is more culture and options there– palm beach county is so freaking sterile. Before I got sick I would drive down to Miami like twice a month and stay over night with friends. Then I got too sick to do it. maybe I’ll have more energy for more visits when we head back finally. 🙂
Hi Drea,
I’ve been reading your blog since Marlowe was a baby, and I have always LOVED your blog, but lately it is leaving me feeling a bit depressed and feeling bad about where I live. I live in New Jersey, which is not exactly a beautiful, sunny, tropical jungle, and I’m not near the beach either. I don’t have the ability to just pack up and move or even go on vacations to tropical areas – not even Florida unless it’s a really special occasion. Based on a few trips I’ve taken throughout my life in Florida, I can say that you have it pretty good there compared to most. You have sun all year around, you have the ocean nearby, you can make acai bowls (even if it’s acai “sherbet”, you have the option to turn on the air-conditioning or open the windows and let the light in, and you have the ability to travel all over the world. I thrive in sunlight just like you, but I simply don’t have the options you have. Your blog was always my sun-outlet in the winter, but it’s leaving me with a bad taste in my mouth lately. Hearing you poo-poo Florida as if it’s a fake, processed, industrial wasteland makes me wonder what you would think of my home state??
Mexico and Guatemala are, without a doubt, beautiful places with wonderful people. Despite the fact that I’ve never been to either, I know this partly because I’m an non-profit immigration attorney who represents children who have landed in NJ foster care, after having fled from those countries for horrifying reasons. Mexico and Guatemala are not perfect, and neither is Florida, but please don’t forget your privilege as an American who can come and go from her homeland as she pleases, who can choose healthy foods, and who can bask in tranquil sunshine all-year-around without fearing for her life.
hey hey, it’s never ever my intention to make anyone else feel bad about their circumstances, I’m only ever writing about my own life and goals. I know a lot of people come and read my blog living in places that have primarily cold weather and snow– and would never give up that weather. A Lot of people aren’t striving for a tropical life– but they like looking at ours. Everyone has different wants, desires, goals.
I’m sure your experience with florida is much different than us living there too. It actually isn’t sunny most of the year. We live in a subtropical line, it rains more days than not. We HAVE to use air conditioning, because mold grows if we don.t And when the power goes out, we literally have warnings to go look out for the elderly because they might die if the power goes out because it’ll get too hot indoors. Florida has it’s upsides, but it definitely has it’s downsides like anywhere else in the world. And I’m allowed to have my opinion and hate it as much as I love it or love it as much as I hate it or whatever. I’ve lived in it for over 12 consecutive years now and on and off my whole life and while it’s not hell on earth, I would prefer to be elsewhere at this point of my life– and honestly, I think thats okay. I’m allowed to feel that way. And me feeling that way about it, doesn’t change how any one else feels about their life either. I’m sorry if it leaves a bad taste in your mouth.
And trust me, I know MX and GT are not perfect. I’ve written about the downsides too. One of the main reasons we had chose Guatemala in the first place was to be able to go there and try, in some way to make a difference and help those who might need it. We’ve worked with the Guatemalan migrant office in south florida as well, donating items directly to them. We very well know that we are lucky to have the life we have to be able to do those things. And I think anyone who reads my blog knows very, very well that I feel that way. I’m allowed to strive for more and set bigger dreams and goals for myself– but I dont take my health, life, or opportunities for granted because I do this.
I was probably a bit harsh in my comment, and I am sorry. However, I cannot deny that I have been affected recently by the way in which you talk about Florida and colder parts of the US – as if they are unnatural places that one needs to escape. I am very much like you in that I thrive in the hot, sunny, outdoors, but it’s not a reality for many of us to live that way (but maybe many of your followers can pick up and leave whenever they want to as well…I don’t know.). I wish that you would put more of a positive spin on these situations, i.e. “How to survive cold winters in MA when you are a tropical person at heart” or “How to thrive despite brutal summers in Florida without spending a ton of money,” rather than making it seem like the US is somewhere that’s not good enough. We have the same issues in New Jersey – in the winter, homeless and elderly people without heat freeze to death, and in the summer, they can overheat and die without air-conditioning. And we have some serious mold problems here too. Look, I am disgusted with many things in the US right now too, from nutrition, to healthcare, to gun laws, to immigration, to criminal justice, etc., but tough – I can’t leave and need to find a way to be happy despite, and people who spread the message of making-the-best-of-things-without-spending-a-lot-of-money help me do that. That was why I’ve read your blog for so long.
The fact that you prefer to be elsewhere doesn’t bother me one bit, and I’ve always enjoyed seeing your travel photos. If your tone/message was a bit more like “We have it good in the US but prefer to be elsewhere for now” I wouldn’t ever have commented and would still be happily reading like I always have been. But your tone instead increasingly reads a bit like “The US is a box, has processed food, is either too cold/too hot, and not cultured enough for us, so we’re going to a better place and loathe the idea of returning.” I know that you are an honest blogger and write what you feel, and we all have these feelings about where we live at some point, but since you ARE putting your feelings out there and have a lot of followers, I thought I’d just point out the how your message is being received by someone who doesn’t have the privileges you have. You’ll take it or leave it as you see fit, and that’s ok.
I’m confused. If you don’t mind sweating in Mexico, why not turn off the A/C and sweat in FL?
Well, the houses are built different in Mexico, they’re built for indoor outdoor life and typically much cooler inside– so you mainly sweat outside. We can only turn off the AC and leave the windows open for about 3 weeks of the year max. The rest of the year we’d end up with a major mold problem if we did that. 🙁
I can relate to this on so many levels! I have been wanting to move to North Carolina for quite some time until recently I realized something. I can have both. I can have my Florida home base and I can gallivant off to North Carolina for months at a time if that’s what I want to do (and it is). I also realized how amazingly blessed I am living in Florida.
I live in a tiny seaside fishing village a hop, skip, and a jump from the ocean. I love my small town life. I have a cute little home and I know soon enough, I’ll have something even bigger and better. Yes, it’s freakin’ hot here, and I often feel the dread of summer coming.
Then I remembered something. My daughters and I buy a kiddie pool every year and have a little pool party with margaritas and pina colada’s (my kids are older than yours, lol). I love watching the fireworks from several different directions because I live by the ocean.
If we look the right way at our own little worlds, we have a lot! I get restless too, but when I feel like that I start counting my blessings. I really hope this helps! 🙂
~Laurali Star
Beautifully said! We moved to Miami from Dubai last month and i relate 100% with this article as I was feeling the same way before moving and about 2-3 weeks after the move. I’m slowly relearning to be positive and grateful for things around me and seeing the beauty and positives of this place. The truth is if we move without truly wanting to do so we will feel sad, and that perfectly fine. The good part is it can only be better from there… if move to meet you all in Florida and have a girls evening out!
yeah, we’ll see how things go with alex work schedule but i’m thinking maybe M and I will make more trips to mexico. I dread the idea of flying back and forth haha but its worth it. We had a kiddie pool for M (no margaritas), but we have to drain it overnight cause the mosquitos. If we end up staying in Florida super long term (like not moving to MX) then we might see about installing a cooling pool thing <3<3
I hope that Marlowe will want to have drinks with me in a kiddie pool when she's older too <3
Ugh I struggle with the Florida summer weather too. It’s hard being forced inside a lot. Is Mexico not as buggy/hot? I’m dying to go there now. My family thrives off of being able to be outdoors as much as possible.
I will say that if you have the privilege of living beachside, the Florida summers are doable. But living mainland? It’s rough. We’ve had some big moving changes the last two years as well (not as many as you guys though) and I will say that forcing myself to see the positives about Florida has completely shifted my perspective. The mind is crazy powerful.
I hope your travels are going well and that when you get home you’ll be able to enjoy it until the next adventure comes!
Mexico is definitely as hot and buggy, depending on where you are. But it can get REALLY bad in Mexico too. Maybe in north florida its different but in south florida, even the beach is pretty unbearable in summer. In the evenings, when the sun sets it would be okay. But I cant even tolerate the beach very long in summer. Florida def. has some positives– for me its friends and family for sure. Hoping that as I continue to heal I’ll be able to enjoy more of that again.
Your photos are always on point and these type of posts are always, always inspiring! Love reading about your adventures. I wish I was as brave as you. I have every faith that what you decide to do, will be for the best and it will all work out.
thank you <3<3
Ugh, this spoke to me – like really spoke to a central part of my being at the moment. I am stuck in London for 2 more years, then the world is our oyster. No more grey, no more traffic (well, maybe, that’s everywhere!) I want to embrace sunshine and colour!
I shall enjoy summer here in London nonetheless and keep plodding along until we find our ‘place’
where are you heading after?