How are you guys? My health is iffy, but my mood is good. So at least I got half the life battle down 😉

So if you follow me on instagram last week, you saw that I decided to get weird and ask you guys a lot of personal questions. The thing is– I have a lot of questions about humans and habits and things. And while I can have many of these conversations with my friends, I’ve always wanted to ask a wider audience. Well, it turns out I actually have a great platform for this. Unfortunately my questions probably seems super weird to a lot of people– maybe even off-putting, haha. But I have questions! And and I have platform! So why not?! Haha. And so I asked.

Turns out a lot of you guys really liked my questions! If you want to get specific, 99% of you said you enjoyed the questions! That’s amazing. I enjoyed them too 🙂

I only had curious intentions behind my questions. Zero judgment or assumptions. And it was SO fun to see all your answers. Mission accomplished on my end. But then I think even more than that, which I did not expect or plan from asking questions was that a lot of the questions really got you guys thinking too! Which is amazingggg.

The thing about asking questions is that sometimes when people have a new thought in front of them sometimes it can make them feel enlightened! But sometimes it can make them feel uncomfortable. New things and feelings can feel scary. And sometimes when that happens people first instinct is anger or blame because they’re not sure how else to react to this new feeling! But overall, questions can be really good! So if a question or idea makes you question something else or feeling weird, that’s okay! FEEL YOUR FEELINGS Ask yourself why! It’ll lead to growth. don’t fall into routine or habits, really feel and live! Self awareness is everything.

On the down side, there is two things I didn’t love about the questions! 1. that no matter what I do someone isn’t going to like it– but lets real, that’s the reality of life. And it’s just unfortunate! I should have put up a disclaimer– *don’t answer questions if you’re looking for things to be offended by*, haha. 2. the amount of time it actually took! Never did I think that asking questions would take up such a big part of my weekend! But it totally did. It was great to start-up tons of conversations and get to chat with SO many of you guys– but man that takes a while!

Which is why I’ve decided to share answers + my thoughts here. I’m all kids of exhausted and not properly healing. On the computer I can come and go to gather my thoughts. I had intended of posting this yesterday, but guys, I just don’t feel well and need time. So when this happens, it happens, but its easier for me to sit my butt down here in intervals and write. Even when posting questions, I couldn’t sit down all at once. And so I would often come back to my phone with people messaging me, “is that it?” or “are you done?” No, but I had to get up, do real life, come back, etc. the blog format gives me more freedom. And hey, I can write a whole lot more/ramble forever on this space a whole lot better than in a box on instagram. Ya know?

Also there is significantly more room for you guys to ramble! I know you guys had problems because the black question space gives you a super limited amount of space! So by all means, my blog is your blog, use that comment section! Tell me about your poop joys and woes. Tell me about your believes in god or the universe! Tell your thoughts too! This is supposed to be about YOUR answers after all! Not mine 🙂 So here we go! My questions and your answers!


How many times a day do you brush your teeth?

This was important to me because Alex and I just had this discussion the week before. He was absolutely convinced that people typically only brush their teeth one time a day. I said theres no way, people definitely brush their teeth at least two. But really, why fight about it, when I can just ask the internet? Andddd have the internet confirm I’m right, haha.

74% of you said you brush your teeth 2 or more times a day. 26% of you said 0-1. And a handful of people messaged me saying they chose the wrong one and meant to choose 2 or more. Haha. Next time I’ll ask about flossing too. Though I’m sure less people floss.  If you’re curious I typically brush 2-3 times a day these days. And I totally floss every night too. After my dental nightmare, I’m not taking more chances. I got myself in order and I care for these pearly white-enoughs.

Do ya poop everyday?

This one was important to me. Maybe my most important question, but I thought I should break the ice with the teeth question before diving into a poop question. I never knew poop would be such a drastically huge part of my life. But since getting sick, there is a poop discussion at least once a day in my life. I mean, pooping is a super normal (hopefully everyday) thing! And since becoming overly obsessed and well versed in the world of healthy (and unhealthy) poop, I really give a crap about others bowel habits. I’m thinking about doing a whole separate post on poop later since I received A LOT of questions about this on my poll, but for now I was very happy to see that 79% of you do in fact poop everyday. And I am a bit worried about the remaining 21% of you who do not. Let’s work on that, okay?

Cat or dog person?

To be honest. I really didn’t care about this one. But I got tripped up and forgot all the questions I had so I threw this out there. Exciting, I know. 71% of you are dog people. Me too. Even though my spirit animal is a cat.

Do you shower everyday?

56% of you said yes and 44% said no. This has been on my mind a lot. It might seem weird, but I’m actually trying to shower less! Really! I know that maybe sounds weird, but I’ve thought a lot about it lately. And I feel like maybe we actually shower too much! Well, I know we do. We’re using up so much more water than any other generation– with a million different practices (farming, fast fashion, etc), but also with showers. I think it’s a hard and weird thing though. We get accustomed to a “normal” feeling of “cleanness” and its hard to break that. But are all these showers making us healthier? I’m not sure. I mean, definitely we should be showering every so often– I’m not thinking we should just live dirty or anything like that. We’d be getting scabies or all other weird sorts of infections if we just gave up on them!  But maybe it would be better to not a shower everyday? Maybe our microbiome would thrive more with less showers? Maybe. I’m not sure. These are just my random thoughts. So then I followed up my question with another question…

If you shower everyday is it because of habit or because you think you should?

This was tricky, because I figured a good amount of people probably shower everyday because they’re working out everyday. I do feel like if I worked out everyday I would shower everyday. But since I can’t ask with three options (the advantage of doing polls on the blog), I focused on two possible feelings. So what did the people who shower everyday say? 38% said you shower everyday because you think you should. And 62% said you do it out of habit.

So this still has me thinking A LOT. If you think you’re supposed to: why? Something instilled by parents? Or cultural norms? Because you’re stinky? Did this question maybe make you question if you’re supposed to? Or nah? And the people who do it out of habit? Do you guys intend to do it our of habit everyday? Have you ever considered breaking the habit? I’m not saying you should, I’m just curious if you’ve thought about it! I totally like to “feel clean”– also, I totally hate when I have leg hair. I cannot stand to have my legs touch when I do. So I shower every other day, every two days just for this reason alone. I’d like to break that feeling though– what I consider “clean.” Because really, what is clean? It’s a feeling. I mean, sure you can sterilize things– then they’re squeaky clean, but we in no way want to sterilize our bodies! I don’t know. Random thoughts. Tell me yours.

If you have kids, do you like them or are you their mother?

This was for the parents on my insta. I should have maybe asked “parents” and not “mothers” though since I do have some guy followers too. Next time I’ll be more thoughtful in that! Either way, I think some people got a bit confused by this question. I had a couple of messages me be like, “I’m both” — but that wasn’t the question! Again, sometimes text and instagram and can be hard to communicate through. Obviously if you have kids, then you’re their mother. But I wanted to know if you are friends with your kids, like you genuinely like to spend time with them OR if your relationship is solely based on being their mother and raising them.

I think it’s pretty obvious that I’m Marlowe’s friend. She is my little buddy through and through. And hopefully through the teen years too, haha. But we’ll see! And yes, I’m totally 100% her mother. We discipline her if needed, teach her daily, and overall my goal is to mother a really awesome human. But she’s also my friend. Some parents relationships with their kids is not friendship based. I think that’s totally okay– as your long as your goal is a kind and compassionate human 😉

71% of you said yes you have a friendship and 29% of you said no friendship involved, strictly mothering. I wasn’t sure what the results would look like on this. I should have followed up by asking if you guys have even thought about this. I think that would have been a really interesting poll. I wonder how many of us stop to ask what our role in a relationship is. You know? Whether romantic, or parenting, or a friendship, each relationship with each person is SO different! I have different roles with different friendships for sure! But with my kid, I’ve stopped and asked and I do like my role 🙂

Do you eat meat?

71% of you do eat meat. 29% of you do not. I knew I would have more meat eaters than not. I think a lot of my friends were surprised to see how many followers/readers I have that eat meat. But since I did surveys in the pas, I knew this was the case. I actually think it’s pretty cool that I can be super vegan and have so many meat-eating peeps. Like, I know so many of you meat eaters have my vegan cookbook, and I think that’s awesome! And I think it’s so freaking cool when you guys message me to tell me you went vegan because of me! I mean obviously I’d like the world to be vegan, I think we’d all be a lot more cheerful, haha, but you guys know I’m not pushing things on you! You guys are going to do what you’re going to do… and hopefully along the way I can inspire you to reach for more veggies and fewer animals 😉

If you eat meat would you eat a dog or a cat if served to you?

So then I asked this. And while I know (and most of you guys know that my question is harmless), I knew that some people might get super weird about this question. But I’m curious! It’s something that is on this vegans mind a lot. That and I’m always curious if someone who eats meat could and would actually kill the animal they’re about to eat! But I didn’t ask that, as I didn’t want the poll to be taken over with animal meat questions haha.

7% of you said yes you would eat the dog is someone served it to you. 93% said no.

So here’s the thing– I had a lot of you guys message me with this question being like, “OMG who would say yes to this?!” like you were surprised that someone would eat a cow, but not a dog. But I was legit more surprised by the people who would eat a cow or pig or whatever, but not the dog! I definitely hold a strong belief that if you can’t kill the animal or imagine eating the animal raw, then you probablyyyyyy shouldn’t be eating it! And same goes for being choosey about some animals being acceptable to eat while others not. I don’t know, I still stand by the thought that if it poops, breathes, has sex, blood and muscles, I’m not interesting in chewing it (gag). And I’m still holding strong to if you can eat one, you should be able to eat another. I mean, I get it, maybe taste/texture wise one is different, but other than that? they all have beating hearts and all the working parts that keeps them alive. So yeah, I was surprised to see so many of you guys say no to eating a dog!

So then, I of course wanted to know: why would you eat a pig, chicken, or whatever kind of animal, but not eat a dog?

I wasn’t asking if you would be eating dog everyday. Or a cat or guinea pig, or bunny everyday. I just wanted to know if you guys would eat if it served to you (again, only if you ate animals in the first place). And I wasn’t asking if you would eat YOUR pet. I was asking, if served to you, would you eat it?

I had A LOT of answers saying “It’s cultural” — but, culture determines what you were raised in and what your habits are now. And I wasn’t asking about a daily serving, I was asking, would you if served to you? That can be a one time deal. So “culture” as an answer didn’t really work here. Also, we need to remember that culture isn’t law. We are raised in certain environments and can grow to change them, improve on them, whatever! If I still lived by the culture I was raised in, I would be a very constipated pig and cheese eating person. If you are or find a Colombian that poops daily, please tell me haha. Anyway, I guess saying “it’s cultural” explains why you’re not serving dog on your daily platter. But it doesn’t explain why you would or wouldn’t eat it.

So I guess the people who said they don’t personally know a cow, pig, chicken, whatever but know a cat or a dog, well that answer makes more sense in regards to the question. But again, I wasn’t asking if you would eat a specific cat or dog, just a general one. I don’t know, I guess I personally have a hard time understanding still because I gave up meat 18-19 years ago. I couldn’t imagine eating any animal– and I had never owned or befriended a cow, pig, chicken. So for me personally, I still find myself confused to the why (not) part.

So maybe it’s weird to some, but I think the 7% of people who said yes, made the most sense to me. I mean, obviously not eating any of it makes the most sense to me, but in regards to meat-eating, it makes sense to be able to eat both or neither. It’s like only being able to eat butchered packaged chicken or cooked chicken, but not be able to butcher the chicken or eat the chicken raw and whole. I just think you gotta be able to do it all– otherwise you can’t say, “its human nature to eat animals.” Again, not preaching that you shouldn’t eat animals– just my thought on it.

And I totally appreciated the amount of messages I got telling that they never really thought about it– and that now they would be thinking of it! Again, like my other questions, I think it’s awesome to go into yourself and your actions and to question all fit! Don’t just go through the motions of life, feel it out! What does your mind and intuition say?! Not just your habit or the culture you were raised in 🙂 

And so then I asked Marlowe, if you could ask the world a question, what would you ask them? And she said:

Why aren’t you making the world a better place?

Maybe a little bit cynical to assume that we aren’t making the world a better place– haha. But I mean, she’s not all wrong. So my question was:

Are you making the world a better place? Or are you just living in it?

90% of you said you are in fact trying to make the world a better place. 10% had no problem admitting that you are not trying to make the world a better place, your just living in it. This was a pretty open-ended question. As everyone has different ideas of how the world could be a better place or how it could need help or what actions it takes to try to make the world a better place. When I personally think of the question my head goes  in the direction of environmental actions. I’m sure many of your thoughts do too. But there is also human rights problems too… and more. I mean, lets say it, the world needs a LOT of help in a whole lot of areas. One of you guys responded this. And while she was admitting that she doesn’t actively do enough, I think it’s really great that she’s even aware of it at all. It’s unfortunate but I think a lot of us are living in the world, and not even considering the fact that they could try at all.

Again, “doing things to make the world a better place” is so incredibly open-ended. We don’t all have to volunteer to make the world a better place! (but if we did it’d be awesome). I mean, even just giving up plastic bags or skipping single use plastic would create a change! Or switching from fast fashion to sustainably and ethically made fashion! Or supporting local organic farms! Or eating less meat (or giving it up completely, if it’s not already a sore subject haha). Or voting (for someone nice). Whatever. There are a million little and conscious things you can do each and every single day to make a change in this struggling world.

Living on this beautiful planet is cool, but taking care of it and the people on it is even cooler 😉

If you’re vegan did you go vegan for the animals or for your health?

This was tough because really there should be three answers: for the animals, for your health, or for the planet. I went vegan because I had gone vegetarian for not wanting to eat animals. And then the dairy and egg industry was reallyyyyy grossing me out. And I thought, well, if I don’t want to hurt animals by eating them, then I probably shouldn’t support an industry that hurts them. Also, there is an unreasonable amount of puss and blood that’s allowed in milk products. I know, I know, gross, let’s not talk about it. But that was one of the main things. Every time I thought about eating cheese the idea of blood and puss being allowed in milk products just stopped me in my tracks.

And then after going vegan for two weeks (I was detoxing) I felt insanely better. Chronic heartburn: gone. Chronic sinus infections: gone. Chronic ear infections: gone. Chronic constipation/hemorrhoids: GONE. I was sold. I decided vegan as for sure the way to go and have had no reason to change my mind since. The post is 7 years old, but you can read about my transition into veganism through detoxing HERE if you’d like 🙂

51% of you said you went vegan for the animals and 49% said you went vegan for your health.

But yeah, not an option listed, but I know tons of people who go vegan specifically for the environment. Typically someone watches a flick like cowspiracy, learns about the pollution eating mass raised meat causes and goes vegan. There was very little info about this when I decided to go vegan 12 years ago. But definitely something people convert for now. Alex for instance, is vegan for sustainability reasons. And I’m grateful her is because he stopped snoring when he gave up dairy 😉

The reality is,  usually people end up staying vegan for more reasons than they went vegan in the first place 🙂

Do you believe in god?

I was SUPER surprised by this. 59% of you said yes and 41% of you said no! Wow! I thought it would be something more along the lines of 80% yes and 20% no. Definitely didn’t expect the poll answers to come so close! Maybe it’s just because when I’m going through instagram it seems like SO many of the posts or profiles I read have some mention of god or Jesus, but I was super surprised to see the results somewhat even!

Also, I’m just noticing the typo. HighER being, not a stoner god, haha. Woops.

So then If you don’t believe in god or you’re unsure about god, why?

 

 

Here are some of the answers. There were A TON! It seems the greater part of the non believing population agrees that science cannot prove or disprove god, there for they do not believe. Some cannot believe there is a god because there is too much suffering in the world (fair). Serious question: does religion explain why bad things happen to good people or kids? A lot of people said that they believe more in nature and human power than the idea of a higher being. And some just don’t agree with organized religion– I mean, I think we can admit that religion is totally and completely used to control people. That can be a really terrible thing– but it can also be helpful too. I think if believing in god or following a religion makes you a better and more compassionate person that takes care of the earth and the people and animals on it– then crap, that’s amazing.

Religion topics are one thing, but “god’ is a totally different topic. Because god/gods can be so many different things to so many different people! But again, I was super surprised to see so many people say no. And it was super interesting seeing everyone’s answers. There were SO many. These were just the beginning of them!

And then someone brought up the point that maybe I should ask the other side of the question (fair)

For those who believe In god, why?

While a lot of the people who did not believe in god gave “science”-based answers, most of the people who did believe in god gave “feeling” based answers. It’s hard, without proof, how does one explain something they believe in? These answers left me with a lot more questions (that I did not ask). Mostly because they’re questions that I know can leave people feeling uneasy or on the spot– which is/was definitely NOT my intention. I want to be able to ask questions without people assuming I’m judging them, but it’s hard! Which is why I often don’t bother with questions in the first place. Or actually, I often don’t ask because I feel like questions can feel like click bait rather than sincere interest!

But yeah, I want to hear from the people who said they believe in god because the earth/universe is so beautiful or because life is so beautiful. I want to know what their thoughts are on the earth being in the state its in– with pollution and problems like slave labor in fast fashion. Or decoration for corn crops and raising cattle. Or, I don’t know! A million different things! Anyway, I’m rambling. But I’d LOVE more insight! People said they believe in god because they had personal relationships with ‘him’ or few ‘her’s’ too. Or because it made them feel safe. Or because the universe is too vast for it to be by chance that were here. The universe is vast. And being alive on this earth is insane. And I think whether or not you believe or don’t believe in god, we can agree our lives and the amazingness of this earth are freaking miracles!

 

For the people who have kids: Did you have kids because you had a genuine desire to or because it seemed like the next step?

I feel like I’ve met a fair amount of people who had kids because they were just following the steps. Go to college, get a job, get married, have the kids, etc. So I wanted to know how many did that or actually wanted kids. 88% of people wanted to have kids. The other 12% of people did it as the next step. I know I mentioned it, but its good to stop and ask ourselves if were doing things because it’s what seems normal or if it’s because it’s what we truly want. I think it’s good to admit when something that is the norm doesn’t feel right for us. No matter what it is. So if you don’t have kids yet, maybe keep that in mind when the time comes for your abuela to start asking if and when you’re popping out a kid (or second kid).

Same with college, if you went, is it because you wanted to go or because you felt like it was the next step?

I totally went to college because I felt like it was the next step– I really had no idea what other options there were. My friends were going. My parents wanted me to go. No one gave options otherwise and I just followed suite. Apparently 66% of you wanted to go to college and 34% of you were in my boat. But not literally my boat– because I don’t know many others who go to college for marine affairs, haha.

I think college is great for those with a set path in mind. But I also think it can end up being detrimental to people who go and never find their true passion there. SO many of you guys messaged me telling me about your debt woes due to college and wishing you had taken time to explore your options first. In general, I’m not great in a classroom setting. But I would have loved college a whole lot more (and probably finished) had I had the time to 1. study what I wanted to study 2. been given more time to discover new loves.


And lastly! Your job: your money maker or your passion?

50/50! What a way to end the questions, haha! Also tricky– but some some really lucky people your job can totally be both. Alex and I discuss this a lot. There are people (like me) who can never imagine working for someone else or having a time stamp of when works starts and ends. And there are people who have zero problem clocking in, making money, clocking out, and going home. At the end of the day, either works– as long as you’re happy! And hey, if you can make your job your passion that makes you money, that’s freaking amazing 🙂

—————–

Before we say goodbye, I totally was to say, I know a lot of you guys were curious to see what others said or wanted more space to share your own thoughts — by all means, use the comment section below! I’d love to keep the conversations going and more people asking and answering questions! Theres a hell of a lot more room here than there is on instagram– for all of us 🙂 Please share your mind grapes with me! And it should go without saying, but please be nice too 🙂

Alright friends, this might be my longest post yet. Or it at least needs to make top five! SO MUCH content! A lot of you guys asked for more question and answer time and I definitely hope to do more of that! Either on the blog, or maybe something more like five questions at a time 🙂 This post took me about three days to finish and I’m sure it’s full of ten million grammatical errors and typos but I just can’t sit here any more! I’m glad you enjoyed it as much as I did. It was great taking in so much insight from others– I hope you share the same sentiment too 🙂

Also, I hope you had an amazing weekend! I’m going to curl up into bed with some tea now! (Old lady forever). Cheers friends!

12 Comments

  1. I am super fascinated by these responses and super bummed I wasn’t on IG stories that day!
    I agree that there should be another choice for the “why be vegan/vegetarian” question! We are basically vegetarian in my household but I think our choices would fall first towards political/planet reasons and secondly to animal welfare. Although I’ve read ALL of those books & documentaries, the thing that had the greatest impact on us to cut out meat completely now was honestly vegan punk bands! Who knew? Songs can really hit hard.
    Also really interested in your shower question! I’ve never liked showering (always felt like a chore) and I DO think there is major societal pressure to shower every day (especially living with loads of girls in college, oh god). I’ve never been a greasy/oily person so never needed to, and now I’m glad there’s been more of a push to not have to shower daily! It’s such a silly expectation.

    • That’s interesting! Like Propagandi and stuff?! I’m curious to know what bands! And yes political! I didn’t learn about the political side of animal farming until muchhhhhh later. I dont think most people realize that supporting animal factories (or not) would serenely change our government system!

      Re showers: I’m not sure if there has been a push or not! Have you noticed one? I haven’t but I’ve been pushing myself anyway, haha.

      • Yes, exactly! I love Propaghandi. It only took me one lesson of “Potemkin City Limits” (tear-jerker!) to have no interest in animal products. Music can be so powerful and emotional in a way that most other things for me are not.
        I think on many blogs these days, there are articles like “why showering every day (or washing your hair) is bad” etc etc – much more common place and I just have this feeling like the tides are turning. Feeling validated because it always was a drag 😉

  2. I literally have so many thoughts about these questions. I loved this so much!
    The one that got me thinking the most is whether I’m friends with my kid or their parent. It hit me hard because I’ve been struggling lately (I have a 14mo old and am in my 3rd trimester with #2). Like I literally cried in .2 seconds after reading the question. It’s such a simple question, but it made me ask why I’m being so hard on myself and what kind of relationship I really want to have with my kids. I feel so awful when I’m not able to get down on the floor and play with him every time he wants to, or pick him up and toss him like I used to. But these are little things I don’t need to be upset over. Then there’s the fact that he’s still so young that it’s hard to feel like anything else other than just the parent right now. It’s just a weird time for us and all I can do is take each day as it comes.
    I have so many more thoughts, on other questions, but I don’t want to post a novel.

    • Hi!
      thoughts: Just because you do or don’t play with your kid all the time does not mean you are friends/not friends! There are plenty of moments throughout the day where marlowe is/was playing with herself. But I definitely still consider us friends 🙂 I think it’s super important for kids to both have positive interactions with their parents as well as alone! With me (or someone else) every interaction with the person shapes how they think (this can be good or bad depending on the person!) but when kids play by themselves they start shaping the world in their own way with their own ideas. Some of her own most creative moments and activities come from quiet time by herself 🙂 Don’t be hard on yourself! Do your best and it’ll make a good difference 🙂

      Posting a novel is totally okay! It’s nice to read others thoughts and ideas 🙂 That was the point!

  3. Mmm i disagree with the dog-eating/meat-eating thing not being cultural… It is cultural by essence. Living in a western society with a western culture, you had the choice to become vegan and could do so. But, if you were born in a Masaï village in Kenya, you would survive on blood and milk from your cows only, as there are no fruits and vegetables. Or say, if you were an Inuit, you would eat seal because that’s the only food you would find. So not eating meat and being vegan is part of our western culture – like a subcultural movement kind of ;). We wouldn’t eat a dog because in our culture, dogs are pets, which is not the case in China for example. You wouldn’t eat any animals because in our western culture, not eating meat is a choice you can make since you have enough ressources available to be able to make that choice. It is a priviledge that we can afford because we live in a modern western culture. Not everyone can, which is why eating meat and the different kinds of meat everyone would eat is definitely cultural.

    • Dog-eating / meat-eating is totally cultural in the sense that we can be raised in one norm and not the other. But the question was specifically about hypothetically being served and eating a different animal from the norm and not what one chooses to put on their plate everyday 🙂

      • But even as a one-time serving thing, it is still explained by culture. We don’t eat dogs because dogs are associated with pets – i personnally don’t have a dog and never had one, so if i were presented a dog on a platter i wouldn’t think of any dog in particular but i still wouldn’t eat it!

        i think it’s a complex issue, and if we want things to change i do believe it is important to acknowledge it is cultural. Because if it’s cultural, then it only takes for the norm to shift, or for us to make the norm shifts, so that it can change. Instead, maybe saying that being able to eat certain animals and not others doesn’t make sense sounds antagonizing (and perhaps counter-productive?) But hey, no judgement on this side, only food for thoughts 😊

  4. This is kind of fascinating to read! There’s a book I came across (still in the beginning of the book) “Some We Love, Some We Hate, Some We Eat: Why it’s so hard to think straight about animals” that seems like it really goes along with the whole animal eating ethics question.

  5. The question about whether or not I’m my child’s friend or parent is a really great one. I have four children and I feel like the answer shifts regularly. Yes, I love my kids and their unique personalities are so interesting to watch unfold, but as they grow older, they need me in much different ways. Sadly, with four children and a household and pets and job responsibilities and a spouse, it’s harder and harder to be their friend and still manage the burgeoning quagmire that is early adolescence as well as still caring for a toddler. Sometimes I just don’t want to be around them! Ha! Sometimes I honestly feel like I should have only had two children and left it at that. Something about my own lonely childhood dreaming of siblings and my husband’s large, vibrant loving family might have had something to do with that… But there are times when we are all out and about and I get this overwhelming feeling of love and pride and satisfaction and cannot believe they are all mine and so beautiful and wonderful and it’s amazing watching them learn to navigate the world. Like, sometimes I just can’t wait to do things with them that I loved doing with my parents and I imagine the (happiest outcome future) where we are adults together and love each other. I guess I’m not really answering the question, or even adding to the discussion in any meaningful way, but let’s just say parenting feels like ever shifting sands and the older I get, the harder it is (for me) to be present and give enough of myself to meet the needs of so many people and not get lost in the midst of all of it (current struggle). So, yes, I genuinely like my kids, but also, they are also really complex and I straddle trying to be a parent they like to be with with being a parent that makes sure they brush their teeth, aren’t jerks and appreciate their lives and hopefully help them turn into helpful, loving, strong, productive adults.

    • I think you’re totally adding to the discussion! Parenting is this weird ebb and flow of completely love and worry. You cant have one without the other– unless you’re the master of mindfulness (and even then it’s a maybe). Four kids is A LOT of kids! I don’t imagine thats an easy feat making sure everyone is taken care of everyday. I see many people struggling with just two 🙂 So I think you’re doing great– just gotta go with he ups and downs and all the emotions of it and call it life 😉