I posted these two photos on my instagram the other day. A 15 year friendship and a 15 year difference in my face. I think it was the first time I looked at a new (and old) photo and felt old. Not necessarily emotionally aged, but physically aged. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I know a lot of people still assume I’m in my mid 20’s when they meet me. But this is the first time I looked at a photo and saw the age in my face. And don’t get me wrong, I’m not hating my aging face, just taking note of the new lines that weren’t there before.

I’m not scared of aging. I’m scared of not living.

In a few hours I’ll be 34. I didn’t even realize my birthday was so soon this week. I was reminded by my family. Another year passed and this is the first year that has felt older. I think people make a big deal of new decades past. 30 wasn’t big for me. 30 was fine. Better than fine. 30 was exciting. 34 seems like a creeping age.

Again, don’t get me wrong, I’m not hating on my creeping age. Just taking note of the changes in my life and in my face. This year feels good, no matter what age I’m at. It was an emotional start, but not in a bad way. I did some real soul-searching in the first two months of this year and I’m ready for what’s ahead.

I don’t have any big plans for tomorrow or for this week. Alex is working through my birthday. And I’m fighting off a cold he shared with me anyway (worth it). I’ll be happy just enjoying a slow and unfussy quiet morning with him, Marlowe, family, and whatever else comes tomorrow.

I may have wrinkles growing on my face and this decade may not have been the easiest one on me, but no matter what age I turn (or how many times I forgot how old I am), life is good and I am happy.

Here is to 34.


  1. Happy Belated Birthday! You are my soul sister. lol. I definitely can relate to this post. the sudden sense of feeling aged when looking at yourself. Especially after what you’ve been going through. It’s like you’re more conscious of what it’s done to your body. But I’m going to tell you what people tell me, only, unlike when I feel they are just partial and trying to cheer me up, I mean it… You are BEAUTIFUL! Amazing! SO by all means look at your pics and say “I’m fine wine daaaaarling” Lol. Cheers!

  2. Happy Birthday Birthday Buddy!!! March 11th:) I turned 40 this year and same feeling. No hate or upset about getting older. Just much more aware of my ever changing appearance lol. I hope you have an amazing year filled with good health and travel, love, happiness and peace. I hope you are able to live in the moment and enjoy every second that is the gift of your life:)

  3. I turn 36 today and my plan for tonight is sushi, Sopranos and sleep.

    I am happier now than I have ever been – more at peace and more comfortable with who I am and who I strive to be.

    Like you said, life is good and I am happy.

    Happy Birthday. May this one be the best year yet.

  4. Catherine

    Happy Birthday! Mine is today too, but alas I’m 42- which just feels surreal to type out, and even think about. Time has flown. But I’m grateful for another year, my life, family and health, of course. All the best to you on your birthday fellow Pisces, I hope it’s peaceful and full of love.