(from our forage/garden project not too long ago)
I realized lately that I have almost no downtime— unless it’s very specific, planned downtime. Otherwise I’m go go go. Not always necessarily busy or painful work— sometimes I’m just busy with fun— so I’m absolutely-definitely not complaining, but I’m just busy. Fun busy is still busy 😉 When did I lose my ‘feet up, scrolling through instagram’ time? My yoga time? My mindless tv without a second computer in front of me time?
I think I’ve figured it out that the biggest contributor to me losing all my downtime, has been Marlowe’s growth. Naps are gone. They’ve been gone for a long while now. And I do miss my downtime, trust me— I really, really do, but it hasn’t been half-bad never stopping, never not moving. I function better at full speed and go. As this blog grows I’ve grown busier too. Go figure 😉 And with the busyness, I find my wheels turning more and my ideas flowing and my feet wanting to dance a little bit more in between sitting. I’ve touched on it a bit before, but I never did well not working. For me, when it comes to doing (but not buying, remember?) things, more is more. If I’m not moving forward or not being multi-productive, I’m not doing enough (in my head and for my life anyway) I’ve also touched on this before, but my mind doesn’t stop. It’s in constant over-drive. So as long as my body and life are on the go too, things are good. It helps ease my nerves.
I’ve been filling my days with inspirational people, brainstorming, creating— important things and completely ridiculous and frivolous things. For myself and for the love of my toddler. I still need coffee (I’d like it now, in bed at night), but fill my day up with plans and I’m ready to go. So while I do miss my ‘kick my feet up’ time, part of me thinks it’s better that Marlowe has passed through the nap thing and I can’t kick my feet up anymore.
We’re coming to a place where people pop in, spend a few minutes or hours, music is on, food is out, plants are growing, art is everywhere, and there is creating going on in every corner. And it makes me so happy. It takes a lot for me to feel proud of myself, but this week? I know we’re doing good. To look around and see this magical creation space that Marlowe is living in… well, it really fills my heart up. I’m happy for her place in my life. And for my place in hers. The home we have. The family we’ve created, it’s pretty awesome.
Marlowe will be going to school later than most with that ‘just missing the date’ birthday of hers. It’s a long while before the hours in my days go kiddo-free. (Depending on what your definition of “long” is of course). And sometimes I think of how much more I could do with her in school or with the naps that she’s skipping… but these years, they’re so fast. SO fast, man. And I’m so happy to have this time with her now—with her creating by my side. I’m so happy over-flowing with to do lists— and you’ve missed this, better get your ass into gear lists. I’m happy to do too much. And I’m happy to live in it and look back on it all. It’s one hell of an awesome colorful ride. Just like I hoped we would be, we’re busy and thriving over here.
11 Comments
The busy times are always the happiest times for me, too. I'm struggling right now because I'm 3 months pregnant and SO DANG TIRED and it's slowed me down a lot. (Like, work 8 to 5 then come home and park it on the couch, almost every day.) And it's hard, way too much time to think!
But some day this baby is going to live outside my body, and then eventually away from my boobs, too 😉 Looking at how darling your M is and the adventures you have, it makes me hope I'm having a girl!
Well said! That tiny slice of school time is pretty precious but instantly becomes a blip so the to-do lists stay loooooooong! I love a reminder to enjoy all this fleeting mom time. Sometimes I just have to take a big breath and put aside everything and just play and it's incredibly hard with all the things that nag at me but it just has to wait…it will get done…someday!
Well said! That tiny slice of school time is pretty precious but instantly becomes a blip so the to-do lists stay loooooooong! I love a reminder to enjoy all this fleeting mom time. Sometimes I just have to take a big breath and put aside everything and just play and it's incredibly hard with all the things that nag at me but it just has to wait…it will get done…someday!
You are an amazing woman, Drea! Marlowe is so cute! XO
sounds and looks like a positively wonderful life to me. keep on keepin' on.
xo
elaine
momjeanz.com
This is a great kind of busy! I find my life is always happier when I have thing after thing to do, fun or otherwise. Love reading these little bits of optimism and positivity:)
I can relate with your thoughts, although I don't have any kids yet. But, I do understand the magic of being busy all the time. Sure, it can get over-whelming at some point, and you need to be aware of your stress levels and not taking on more than you can handle, but I totally get more done and feel more fulfilled with lots on my plate. Like now, for example, I'm juggling graduating from collage, wedding plans, plans for going to university abroad with my soon-to-be husband, on top of normal schoolwork, my blog and Etsy shop. And, when all of that isn't enough, I get a brilliant and inspiring idea to create a summer school for young operatic singers (like me). My fiance is a bit concerned, but, it wouldn't be me, if I didn't do that :).
Have a wonderfully busy day!
xo Hanna from Pearls & Scissors
Having a little toddler of that age is heavy, no doubt, but we better enjoy this special time in our life because it will be over before we even realise it. Me too i missed the naps so much once my oldest girl became two but the day she went to school it felt suddenly like a gap and i missed her little feet and sticky hands around me… I hope you stay blogging because i really love your look at life and your beautiful pictures. (sorry for my broken english)
I had SUCH a lightbulb moment the day I read your post that said you could link the times in your life when you weren't busy to also feeling down. I'm exactly the same, but until you mentioned it I hadn't really made the connection. And at the moment I'm always busy, with lists and diverse things to do, and it does stop the anxiety to some extent. And the slow, natural things, like gardening and growing and making and taking the children for little adventures help the most I think. I really enjoyed going back and re-reading your post about not spending too much money as well, it's always good to remember how to be as thrifty as possible.
I feel busy now I can only imagine once I start having kids, which hopefully will be soon. I love to interact with my nieces and nephews though. Its so fun how being around them opens your eyes to things you might not have noticed and brightens my day!
xx, Michell
http://michelleothuis.blogspot.com
This is the best kind of busy! My fiance and I have been talking about kids a lot lately. Since we're both elementary school teachers, we know how hectic and all-consuming the younger ages are, but it's still so magical. Every single time I interact with a toddler/preschool-aged child, my heart flips a little, because these kids are in such a precious stage in their lives and development. I think it's one of the reasons I love this blog so much. 😉 It's always wonderful to see your family and how it grows and changes, but also how much color and vibrancy that goes along with it. I think of your experiences and it makes me wish that my time to be a mom was already here…then I think of my students loans and decide I'm better off kid-free…for now.
Enjoy these times. Enjoy and nurture your creative spirit. Enjoy sharing it with us! ♥
The Rambling Fangirl