I’m in a mood today. It’s been a day for sure. And I probably should be in bed by now to try to counter this mood, but instead, I thought I’d come here and write. Best idea? Or the worst idea? I’m truly not sure. Let’s find out I guess. I’m not sure where to start in my bad mood. I’m not sure if there was a moment I can pinpoint that triggered it. I think it’s a build-up of a lot of inconveniences. And if you know me IRL, then you know, I’m not usually too inconvenienced. I’m go with the flow, whatever forever, anything works kind of vibe. Yet here I am.
Honestly, it could be the fact that I woke up out of bed, didn’t change out of my clothes (or even put on a bra) and headed out for the day. And now it’s 9:52 pm and I’m here… still in that very same outfit. Feeling all meh about it. Maybe I just needed to put on a bra. Maybe that was the trick.
Life has been a weird mix of things going really well, and really crappy things all swirling around me at the same time lately. Most (but not all) of the crappy things are happening to the people around me. But I’m still feeling it. Also, I think I’m slightly, and not completely intentionally detoxing… which always stirs up all sorts of emotions. Those pesky things (emotions) are stored away in all the crevices of your body and when they release, well, it can be hard. I’m just trying to push through. And trying to remind myself, that there’s light on the other side. Stretch more, drink more water, breathe harder, push out the garbage.
And so I will.
(Maybe writing is helping).
We plan to travel a lot less, you guys know this. But I figured out what it is about travel that feels so good in my brain. It’s all the new neurons, the new connections, the steps out of daily habits that make us who we so very much are. Travel or an unscheduled, uncomforted life forces us to use new parts of our brain every day. It forces us to take our brains off auto-pilot. It forces us to actually engage in our brains. What a freaking gift.
I’m trying to do this at home. I guess, I sort of talked about that here. But even without the adventures with Marlowe and Alex, I’m trying to do that with myself. (But I guess this week the universe threw a little more than expected my way.) I don’t want to be on auto-pilot. I want every day to be an adventure in some way. Even if it’s just something new to entice my brain neurons. I guess that’s why I enjoy reading and research so much? There is so much to learn in the world.
And I just want to take it all in… even on the rare, but possible moody days.
I wasn’t moody in Guatemala. Thats not to say that I can’t get moody in Guatemala. I totally and completely can. But this trip was light for us. Marlowe is asking to go back every day. In fact today she had a friend over and they pulled out a backpack and said, “We’re going to pack. We’re combining our money. We’re buying tickets to Guatemala.” I told then to hold off on the packing until they buy their tickets, haha. She’d go by herself if I let her.
I asked her what she would do when she got there. And she said she would have Alyssa pick her up. Smart girl. Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if this happened one day. Any of it— her taking off without me, her landing in Guatemala, her being scooped up by Alyssa and living her life in the very best ways she can. If anything I’d wonder, why we didn’t just go together?
I appreciate how we were all accidentally color-coordinated on this day. Is there any other way to explore with friends?
Looking back at these photos, I’m not sure if this was our first, second, or third time visiting this tiny (but mighty) market. We stopped by a few times during our time on Lake Atitlan. If you haven’t been, this is by far one of the better markets around. It’s tiny, but the goods are good. The women are sturdy in their prices (as they should be). And the vintage textiles are over-flowing.
The market, if you’re curious, is the Panajachel Vintage Textile (the official unofficial name). And it’s right by the Panajachel forestation every Tuesday and Friday.
These photos, if you’re curious, are photos Alyssa made me take and were far outside my comfort zone, haha. But at this point, after living there for 8 years, she is very well acquainted with all these wonderful women vendors. Also: I know I’ve mentioned this, at least on insta, but she truly is my opposite in so many ways. But somehow it works. (Especially when we color coordinate).
I definitely wanted a photo of us though. Will keep this stored away forever.
Alyssa plopped her on the pile. This was the face that followed. This also felt like a weird paparazzi session, since everything was being documented, haha. Which I don’t completely mind. It’s fun to look back, especially at the awkward moments.
I just realized that the fabric Marlowe is holding is now a cushion on her bed 🙂 This brings me joy. Also worth mentioning: Alyssa wears a lot of leopard print. I typically do not like it. But she has convinced me that it works.
Are you guys seeing this market? The number of beautiful textiles DO NOT END. If you take a peek behind my leg in the photo to the right you can see more bags tucked away with MORE TEXTILES. It’s insane. So much talent. So much beauty.
The women all come in from different parts of Guatemala to sell their textiles. Different towns = different prints, patterns, and colors. To be honest, we didn’t LOVE this style that the woman in the photo is showing us. I didn’t like the embroidery layered over the stripes, it was too busy. But we bought two pieces from her anyway. Mostly because of Marlowe. Marlowe could really see how hard the woman was trying to make the sale. And so she really wanted to support her. Raise yourself a child who feels, understands, and shares empathy. It’s amazing guys.
Lol, the three of us bent over, digging. Just another day in beautiful Guatemala.
With this guy.
After the market, we headed out for lunch. I stopped and bought some bananas along the way. Eating out is a bit tricky anywhere, but especially in foreign countries. So sometimes I prefer to just bring fruit… just in case. You know, so I don’t leave feeling inconvenienced, haha.
I also got a pineapple ginger garlic drink and a bowl of black bean soup…. which was really just black beans. 100% terrible food combining, but I lived. The other three weirdos got nachos. For Alex and Marlowe, we just asked them to sub out the cheese for extra guac and beans. Win/win. At this point, we find eating vegan in the world incredibly simple. It’s the whole allergy thing that just steps up the eating out thing a bit more. You know?
Me and my extra bananas.
After lunch we went straight up to the market. A daily occurrence for us when we’re traveling. We really enjoy daily shopping at the market. Refridgeration is actually one of the top carbon creators on the planet. Did you know that? Not saying you all should ditch the fridge or lose the AC if you live in 90+ degree weather, but def. something to think about. We look forward to being fridge and AC-free one day. Anyway, I’m digressing. We love a daily market run. We make it an event to thoughtfully purchase the items we need for that nights dinner. It’s just really nice.
We probably headed home back to Alyssa’s office and then headed home some point in the evening to cook some sort of soup. I really don’t remember. But I imagine the end of the day was just as good as the beginning of the day 🙂 Nothing fussy or extravagant. But something wonderful for sure. Taking in beauty, exploring amazing cultures, eating delicious food, laughing with friends, and creating new neurons and connections for sure.
Always grateful for all of it.
Okay, thanks for letting me write. I do actually feel somewhat better now. Time to go to bed and fall asleep to the sound of the POURING winter rain <3