Hello friends! It’s currently 1030 pm. It may be Tuesday. Maybe Wednesday. I’m actually not sure and I thought it would be more fun to keep it that way. We’re currently bundled in sweats and sweaters in Mexico city. Marlowe is tucked in bed and Alex is here, on the couch with me, with our new dog tucked under his arm. Yes, you read that right. A friend came by, literally, one hour before we got in our car to start our drive to Guatemala and left us a dog. I know we’re a tad crazy. Or maybe just I am– as Alex would have just said no to the whole thing if it weren’t for me. But also, he didn’t say no, because he was okay with whatever– but on a whim, we took in this pup and she is now on her way to a new life with us.
We’re all starting this new life. This crazy adventure, which some days just feels too big to even be real. I think maybe sometimes it could just be too big– and so I try not to think about it too much. I try not to get overwhelmed by the very real-life changes we’re experiencing.
But my body knows it. I can feel the stress bubbling in there, even when I don’t think about it. But I’m not sad. And I’m ready. I know this is big, but it’s exciting too. Yesterday I felt rushed– without reason. We have no rush. We have no reason to be pushing forward any quicker than whatever pace feels right. Today the pace feels better. There’s less tension in the air. Alex is feeling more comfortable towing 2,000 pounds behind us and I’m giving myself more time to breathe– whatever happens, happens.
We’re planning for shorter days– five-hour routes according to the map. But for us, the path falls more in the 6-7 range, given the car can only go so fast with so much weight. We’re not sure where we’ll be heading after Mexico City– with the last two weeks of zero wifi and no cell signal, we could only plan so much. It’s more adventurous this way, right? Should the drive through Mexico feel scary? Or overwhelming? I’m not sure. It just feels like home– but colder.
I think I’ve been waiting for Marlowe to feel sad. She had such a good life in Nayarit. But, while she has been bummed to leave her friends, she’s been quite joyful on this trip. I think Lulu/Lucia the pup with us helps. A good, cozy distraction. She’s so sweet. Annoying at times and truly a terrible walker, but so sweet. She really loves us. Apparently, her life before this was all indoors. No walks, not fun. Her owner passed away two weeks ago and consensus said that maybe an outdoor farm life would be best for her anxious little body. I think it’s true. I think this new fresh air will bring us all some healing.
I think we’re doing pretty well given that I had only met this dog once prior to this trip. And that we took her in an hour before we left. And that her owner passed away. We’re all adjusting together. She’s doing a good job. And we are too.
About 20 minutes after leaving our house, I almost cried. I think I cried. I think I could have really cried if I let myself. But I only let myself tear up a bit. A good tear. A “wow, we’re doing this.” A “this chapter was good, but now it’s ending” sort of tear. No tears from Marlowe or Alex, but maybe they’re holding them back too, I’m not sure.
Our first stop was in La Barca Mexico. I can’t tell you much about the town. Other than the fact that it was lively with the holiday (Ah! It’s Tuesday today!!) and there was a circus in town. We drove in, we parked, we ate, and we slept. Not much more. La Barca Mexico, a town I have passed through and may never see again.
It’s crazy how a big change can make you look at simple things so differently.
I’m working on working on myself, being a good mother, training and loving this new pup, keeping compliments high on the hard work Alex is doing, and taking it all in. We packed up our entire lives, emptied out our apartment, and said goodbye to most of the people who have touched our lives over the last year. The last two night’s Marlowe spent away with friends. While Alex and I cleaned and enjoyed one last dinner in San Pancho– on the rooftop that we never once ate at, watching the sky turn pink as the sunset.
Sometimes this feels like it should be bigger. But maybe this is what this change is supposed to feel like right now. Too big, but not big enough. Only a few years ago this seemed like an impossible dream. But here we are– inching forward to this completely new life.
Like every day, today is the first day of the rest of our lives. It’s cheesy, but what part of that statement is not true? Life is so delicate and amazing.
This post is all over the place. But I guess that’s the current theme. As we unloaded some things into our Mexico City rental I said, “We should probably stay here longer as we have SO many of our things here.” And Marlowe replied, “We literally have everything we own.”
And she’s right. My entire life and world are right here, right now.
Thanks for being here too.