Zero to Two

Ever feel so overwhelmed that you don’t know where to go, what to do, what to say, or what to even think? I feel that way. I feel frozen. I want to feel happy. I don’t feel sad. I am just…. overwhelmed. I spent the last few days cleaning, organizing, paying deposits on utilities. Last night was the first night I slept in my new rental… alone (minus Jerbear-pupface). It was strange, but fine. The downtown noise was actually comforting. I prefer the noise much more over the silence. I woke up and I felt overwhelmed, not with current events, but with future fears. I ran some quick errands nearby while waiting for the gas company’s call to turn on my stove. In a one hour time period: I went to the bank to deposit first months rent, picked up some coffee, brought it to Eric at work, and got a voicemail from my old realtor: “The other realtor had made a mistake, if you still want the house its yours”. WHAT? Wait, seriously WHAT?  I didn’t know how to react. Eric couldn’t tell if I was laughing or crying. I was laughing. Two weeks ago I had nothing. I needed a plan, I had no home. I needed a home. I made a plan. I got a home. Now I had two? I had just cleaned and painted the whole house. I just payed rent! WHAT?
I went home to think everything through. Do I go forward with the house? What about all the money and time that was just put into this rental? I actually really like the rental… close to downtown, open and bright, tons of storage space, better than I thought it would be… Everything except the baby’s room is ready. Buying a house is such a huge commitment, but such a good investment.