This weekend in a desperate attempt to attain some baby-free time I headed to my friend Anita and Jamie’s upstairs/downstairs party with Michelle and Eric. I had half a bottle of milk leftover from mediation time that was about to expire. It needed to be used or thrown away— that bottle traveled all the way to Atlanta and all the way back, so throwing it out would have been very very sad. Any extra milk is like gold at this point. It helped that Michelle only lives a few blocks north on my street and Anita and Jamie only live 2 houses north of her. If Marlowe uses all the milk and still needs more I can just walk back and forth. Anyway, it went fine, I guess. Marlowe had enough milk and Eric, Michelle, and I left the party early anyway. Even though it was good to get out of the house and chat with familiar faces it wasn’t much of a break. I still went to bed the time I usually do, and Marlowe still woke up 4 times that night, like every other night. Anyway, before I keep rambling…. here are a few photos from the night:
Penny the big lovable beast of a dog stood on my foot for a long time.
Penguin with googly eyes.
A very pretty and happy Tina.
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i agree with claudia's (lil muse lilly) advice, especially the sleep training. god, it sucks and it's super hard but once your through things get so much better for the both of you. we did it lighter version of it, some nights if i was too tired or frustrated and angry i would let him truly cry it out. but if i was feeling up to it i'd go in and stop it by rubbing his back for a few minutes after a half hour or so. i started putting him down for naps during the day too, actually having to teach him that there are chunks of the day made for sleeping and that gave me some much needed "me time". like i could pretty much count on having time to myself from 10-11:30 and then again from 2-4:30. it only took him three days max to "get it" and to this day he naps pretty consistently.
i still struggle with "me time" i don't think i'll ever figure it out which sucks because sometimes i feel like i'm slowly loosing the things that make me ME….you know?
Wow, what a lovely house your friends have!
From one Vegan momma to another: I love you and thank you for being such an inspiration. I've been with my partner for nearly a year- but before I met her I was single, raising my child on my own. I know and appreciate your honesty in regards to the situations and feelings that may arise from being a single mother. It's hard and trying, but definitely worth it. You get to mold a little life to be an amazing person! I breastfed my little lady bug until she was 1 1/2. I stayed stocked up with fenugreek, and vegan raw daily supplements to keep my supply going. Have fun, and enjoy the "ME" time. It's necessary, even though it seems hard to come by, or digest.
ok, please know that everything i am about to say is not to tell you how to raise Marlowe but to share with you some of the things i have done with Lily.
1- "me" time is something that i need and will always need. i think it is essential so you don't forget that you are still an individual and not just a mom with a baby in your arms.
also, just for sanity.
2- sleep training.
i know, it's really hard because it breaks your heart to hear them cry it out but, you want to sleep through the night? let her cry it out.
Will and I had Lily 2' away from us and i'm not going to lie, letting her cry it out was so hard and we had to do it several times because of growth spurts and teething but it works and Lily has been sleeping 10-11 hours straight through the night for almost a year now. she too breast fed only until she was 12 months old.
3- during the day i do entertain and play with Lily but i'm a believer that kids need to know how to entertain themselves.
ever since Lily was a tiny baby, i have let her just be.
whether it was tummy time by herself or on the play mat, she is now 18 months old and will totally entertain herself in her room or wherever by herself for quite sometime.
so, i hope that any of this will help you. it did me. 🙂
just like amanda i was going to recommend fenugreek, you only need to take it for a few days and its a natural milk booster. also, i read that soy reduces milk supply and asked my mom about it (nurse practitioner) and she says probably because it has estrogen in it, so maybe cut back on that a little and see what happens, i know its hard because youre vegan so soy is a major product, but its worth a try?
my tips are little things. take a bath. read a book. listen to music. if you can find a babysitter, get a full body massage. get a pedicure (had my first one when i was pregnant, amazing)
ahhhh "me" time, I'm not sure what constitutes it. Even when I pop out for an hour to go shopping or whatever I'm still living & breathing Isobel so is it ever just my time? This doesn't help you at all, I would suggest even just a nice walk (by yourself!) or some crafting at night when she is finally in bed. I hope her sleeping gets better, Keep hanging in there Drea : )
mommy time is much needed for all mommy's- some don't appreciate it as much as others because they get it way more often than they should (but that's a different story for a different day).
I had a lot of trouble with the concept of me time after I had my son when my daughter was 18 months. I had only gone out one time without her but now to have two? what in the world was I going to do inside of these walls all day and all night taking care of these babies by myself and when would I see the outside world other than a doctors visit or grocery trip. I felt a dark cloud hang over me though I tried to make the best of it. I realized one day that I wasn't going to be my happiest or feel like myself again unless I let all of the rain from this dark cloud fall and bring the sun out again. I did just that. I made a routine for my babies and sooner than later I found that my me time came within their nap time. I found school again, and was able to escape the house even if school felt more like a chore. It was still me time. I for the first time, asked my parents or a friend to come sit with my kids who were old enough and not too needy, while I went out to lunch, with a friend or by myself. either way it was mommy time.
I promise that even though right now it seems like the cycle will never end, where nights are endless and days seem so short- will come to a hauling stop. Marlowe will sleep better at night, she will feed less in the night hours and let you sleep longer. She's rearing that age, which means less stress with milk for you. With every hard step, there are two easy ones. We have the hardest jobs out there, you are doing the best you can and you know that- that's what makes you such an amazing mother and Marlowe can sense that too. We all know it, we believe in you.
take a bath, read a couple chapters in a book, make some tea, bake, play some music, call a friend to watch baby while you go on a walk, or run or go out!
I consider my me time every night around 8pm when I put my munchkins to bed as they quickly fall asleep with full bellies and happy hearts.
keep us all posted on the YOU, you put in "you" time.
<3
I'm sure you've probably considered this already, but when I was attempting to pump extra milk to freeze I took fenugreek capsules that i bought at GNC and it helped my milk supply drastically and it has the added benefit of making you smell like syrup! Odd but effective.
Your blog is wonderful drea. Your daughter is beautiful as you. congratulations
♥