It’s been so good to get out of the house again! I feel like it’s been a while over here! We filled our weekend with farmers markets, plants, food, friends, all our favorite things. Really, I think we filled it with everything I imagined my motherhood life to be like. Well, I dont know, I wasn’t one of those people who really thought too much about having kids and I certainly never planned kids, but if I thought about it, this was sort of it. This is what I wanted. This was really how Alex and I used to spend our weekends (with more bread) long before Marlowe and now it’s super rad when I’m feeling well enough, and the weather is nice enough, and everything is just aligned to do it now, with her. You know what I mean?
Part of me sometimes misses living Miami. I don’t think Alex feels quite the same way though. I mean, I despise the traffic– and the high cost of housing, but otherwise I really enjoy a lot of it. I have very difficult memories from there and my early pregnancy, but I also have some of my most favorite memories there too. Sometimes I think it would be really nice to live there again– but then I know that if we were to ever move anywhere, it would be out of the country, not to Miami.
That being said, I know I’ve been writing a lot about making future plans lately. Trying to get all our ducks in a row. And I think we’re both (alex and I, not the ducks) in a place where we’re pretty excited about the possibilities this year can hold for us. Right now my goal is to keep everyone healthy, keep healing myself, and do big, but hopefully wonderful things with my small family. My original short term plan involved us maybe leaving, but for now we’re staying with the option and the idea that we’ll reevaluate and see where we want to be and what we want to do in a few short years. But everything can change in a year, or month, or even day (we definitely learned that one this year), so we’ll see what happens!
On sunday we headed south to Miami. We stopped at the Pinecrest Farmers market. I’m not 100% certain, but I’m pretty sure the last time I was there was about a week after I found out I was pregnant. I was scared beyond belief about what I would do and what life would be like. But I met with friends who helped calm my nerves and convinced me to come to the farmers market. And then I did the only logical thing I could think to do, I bought a croissant and hoped for the best 😉 Alex’s last memory of this market is a bit different than mine. He remembers a trip we took together and me buying and drinking a coconut. I don’t remember this at all.
The prettiest shop! I had the pleasure of meeting the owner a while back at a flower crown event. So rad to randomly see her beautiful work in Miami.
On a weird side note. I finally bought shorts that fit me. I’ve been holding off with hopes that I would gain the weight back and my clothes would fit me again. But after a year of my clothes not fitting me, I’m happy I finally bought shorts that dont fall off my butt.
You know, the hardest thing about figuring out the future is just figuring out how to move forward. We aren’t held back because of lack of options. We were at a pause because our options are limitless and we weren’t sure which direction was best. Maybe the best problem to really have. It’s a pretty wonderful feeling knowing that we get to choose whats next in our lives. Some roads might be harder or easier, but they’re ours to choose. I don’t know, I’m having a pretty hard time getting out the right words and emotions right now, but I’m just looking forward while trying to enjoy every single bit of the now. I’m putting all the positive energy out there (the universe tends to give you what you give out) and hoping for the best.
After the garden we found ourselves grilling with friends. Not planned, but something that worked out perfectly. Marlowe was SO SO excited to see her little friend Bimini. She asks about her all the time since our farm lunch with her forever ago. Holy crap they were both so small and cute— I mean, they still are– but they were smaller and so cute!
While I dont think we’ll ever live in Miami again (it is going underwater after all), I am so grateful to have it so close by. I love getting down there, meeting up with friends, visiting markets, and eating delicious food. It was a really good weekend. Fingers crossed this next one is a good one too 🙂