Hows everyones week going?! Mine has been good, cluttered but good. We’ve been half organizing the house– but it’s still mostly in that in-between shambles state and its driving me nuts. I don’t function well in disorganization and clutter. Not at all. My stomach has been a bit of a mess– but Marlowe’s too– so we’re blaming it on Disney World food. Did I mention Disney World here? We went up to magic kingdom for Marlowe’s birthday. Good time, yucky food. The next night both of us had some stomach complaints going on and it only got worse the next day. Marlowe also said her best friend came back from Disney World this week with a stomach bug and left school throwing up. I find that really curious. So the combo of it all has me in a rather emotional state. Overwhelmed and underwhelmed, but not terrible by any means. But anyway, yeah, my stomach is never great, but it functions well enough these days. Well enough by who’s standards? I’m not really sure. For me, I mean, I’m happy because it’s better than before– but man, I want everything to function so much more. And I know I was just saying all this in yesterdays post– but sometimes it really bums me out that I don’t feel better. And this week has been one of those weeks where I’ve been focusing on that quite a bit. You know, emotions.So I mentioned about a month or two ago that I was looking into making serious diet changes this season. I go back and forth a lot about whether or not I’ll go through with it though. The biggest factors in my hesitancy seems to be comfort, habit, and convenience. I’ve been ever so slowly changing my diet, but have yet to go full force. Sometimes I think, “This change will be fine will be great. This will be beneficial and make me feel wonderful.” But then sometimes, like when I get home from France for instance, I think “but maybe I should just drink wine again and keep going with how I’m feeling now. It’ll all be fine.” And maybe it all will be fine, but like I said, I don’t want to feel fine. I feel fine about feeling fine up until I stop and think: BUT I WANT TO FEEL GREAT.
So what am I thinking about? What more could I possibly change in my diet? Well, I’m thinking about transitioning into a full on fruitarian. At least for a few months. Just to see how it goes. It certainly won’t hurt. Fruit and vegetables can obviously give you all the nutrition you need and more– the only thing I really have to lose is the comfort of my current food habits and feelings. I love warm food– it gives me this nourishing feeling like no other. I fear I won’t feel completely nourished with all raw and cold food. But I don’t know. I think like anything else it might just be a matter of breaking the habit of embracing change and finding comfort in new things. Like when I thought there was no way I could give up cheese 10 years ago. Or how the idea of veganism was completely ludicrous to me 15 years ago. But here I am 10 years later without ANY desire to ever eat cheese again. That comfort feeling– that craving for it– it’s gone. And I know, I’m 100% certain that my body is healthier without it. So how do I know that this can’t be the way my future looks with raw food? The reality is that I don’t know. Not until I try it. I’ve been reading A LOT about it. Trying to mindfully process how my body will process everything. Trying to look into the science of it and whats the proper way to do it– because believe it or not there are apparently ten million different ways to be a raw vegan. And right now, I’m leaning towards the high carb, low fat way. I in no way want to cut out fats completely– I love coconut and avocados waaaaaaayyy too much, but I want to eat fats at the right times– properly combining them with the right foods. I used to have intense sugar rushes and drops– even fruit sugar– but I’ve been playing around with it– and the science behind the low fat thing seems to be right. As long as I haven’t consumed any fat before loading up on fruits I don’t have the highs or the drops. My body feels stable. My body feels good with the fruit! So I just try to keep my fat intake towards the end of the day after I’ve consumed most of my fruit and take it from there.
Anyway, I don’t want to babble too much about this stuff right now (unless you guys really want me to of course). But the plan for now is to try to eat completely raw vegan for as much of the day as I can. And then have lighter cooked meals towards the end of the day when I can’t put up with chewing or drinking another raw vegetable. Just slowly transition into it all. Alex actually says he’s willing to try it all out for a while too. And for Marlowe? Well, I’m working on adding more raw vegan meals into her diet, but I don’t have plans of having her joining the raw vegan wagon completely. She’ll still be vegan, duh. But not completely raw. It’ll be much harder to convince a six (!!) year old to eat a raw kale salad– so for her, I’d rather have her eat cooked greens than no greens (of course!). We have been focusing on more appropriate food combining for her though. Which really doesn’t mean that much for her except that now I don’t let her snack on raw fruit throughout the day. The rule for miss Marlowe is she can have as much fruit as her heart desires until she eats cooked food. After she eats cooked food, no more raw fruit for the day. Pretty simple right? If she wants to eat 40 mangoes, fine, but she’s gotta do it in the morning pre-cooked food. 60 bananas? Have at it, girly. When she’s had her fruit / raw fill– we’re back to regular well-rounded cooked meals until the end of the day. Wake up doing it all over again. We’ve been doing this for the past two months or so and with the exception of a small travel bug, this has been really great for her gut. She hasn’t had any bloating or gas pain (which she used to have a bit of) and she’s healthier than ever. Knock on wood– but she def. hasn’t caught as many bugs (or any actually) this school year at all. Basically the same diet, just slightly tweaked schedule I guess you could say.
So yeah, the biggest thing around here is always making sure we get more than enough calories (I’m no longer in my grossly thin post c. diff body. My post c. diff jeans are actually tight now, hooray!) and making sure we’re combining food properly. We always eat well rounded– so there’s no issues there. Now I’m just trying to change the way I look at my meals. I still want big, veggie filled plates of food– but I’m training myself to find comfort in raw food. To find health and new life in vibrant, unheated vegetables. For me, this is pretty big. Never did I think I would feel like I needed to eat raw vegan— not longer than a two week cleanse anyway. But now, I think it’s time. I have nothing to lose. And I just want to feel better. I expect to have icky detox symptoms (I did when I tested it out a few months ago), but I hope to have long term affects. The worst thing that happens is that I don’t feel better– and I go back to how I eat now. I guess the question right now is ‘when’. When is the right time? When will I be emotionally ready? I know I just need to pick a time and start. And I guess for the transition I’m looking at it the same way I looked at my transition into veganism: with zero pressure. I’m sure there will be times where I’m not perfect. Times when I opt for tacos or wine or whatever. And that’s okay. Really, I’m totally okay with it– but I do want to try to do this as fully as I physically and emotionally can.. Even if I can manage a 80% daily change, I’m super happy.
If you guys are interested I’m totally happy to document more of the process and what I eat and whatever else a long the way. Just let me know. I’m going to journal it for myself. I know I already had to knock off nuts from my can eat list in the past few months. Corn is still on the fence. I have to see what my body really thrives on. What makes me feel best and worst and go from there.
Oh and on the books I’ve been reading– THIS is the one that most inspired me. While the title is super focused on crohns and colitis, the reality is the diet is for someone with ANY illness. It’s no secret that food is the primary cause to most illness– that genetics are really only 10% cause of disease. We all hold the gun, diet pulls the trigger. I’m a great example to how diet and drugs can make or break you. But I really hope to be a great example of something better… of more ‘food healing’. I hope I hope I hope. Also, to be completely honest, the authors views can be a bit intense, but I really found the whole book fascinating. A lot of parts on health and sickness really spoke to me. My body is still constantly giving me warning signs that there is still a problem that needs to be addressed (random fevers, inflamed painful gums, random body aches from time to time on top of the whole random stomach turnovers)– and I’m ready to fully (okay, mostly) address it (maybe). I’m not holding myself to it. And it might take me months to really transition, but I’m certainly going to try!
Wish me luck. xoxo