I feel the difference (more tired + sluggish) when I eat fats. I’ve addressed the high fat thing a few food/diet posts back. I was eating A LOT of fat to try to put on weight. But I never gained weight from over-eating fat. Instead I ended up with all these vague complaints. By the advice of my acupuncturist (who I no longer see), I cut back on the fat intake and it made a HUGE difference in how I felt. And I didn’t lose weight by cutting out the fat, instead I just improved my digestion (fats = harder to digest). Right now I’ve only eat bit of natural fat towards the end of the day and I can noticeably feel the difference between how I feel after a fat free meal vs how I feel after a bowl of guacamole. The sad reality is that avocados make me tired, haha. I mean, don’t worry, the guacamole is still worth it, delicious, and healthy too, so I definitely still eat it (had it yesterday, nom), but I’ve cut back.
detox: So as mentioned, I detoxed pretty hard. I didn’t really expect this. I thought, “but I’ve been eating so healthy and trying to slowly and naturally detox for over a year and a half, I shouldn’t have too many problems with detox symptoms!* Wrong. C. diff is damaging to your gut and entire body. As are all the drugs I took in my teen years (acne drugs, antibiotics, antidepressants, anti anxiety pills)— you know, all the garbage. Well that stuff doesn’t magically and completely disappear from your body. I mean, a lot of it leaves your system for sure, but I really do believe that a lot of that just sort of circles through and hangs out in there unless you’re actively cleaning it out. The detox hit me hard when I did that Mayan Massage. I felt the positive and negative affects for months. On one hand it did make my periods easier. On the other it stirred up a lot of colon + lady part toxins. So now that I’ve made the switch to completely cleansing foods, well, my body is cleaning out and I’ve been feeling it. The biggest symptom I noticed? Mucus. SO MUCH mucus. Gosh, I never ever get mucusy. I have once in the past ten years (since I cut out dairy) and that was with a random, post c. diff sinus infection. Other than that I am not a nose blower. With the switch, my body started purging– everywhere and in every way. I’ll spar you the details, but I mean everywhere. But the most noticeable way way via my nasal passages. I lost my voice for an entire week and a half. Maybe longer? I wasn’t sick, just mucusy as all hell.
I also started breaking out A LOT. I don’t think I mentioned it here though– unless I did? Did I? Well just in case– and this is super interesting, if you ever looked into ‘body mapping’ you can see where the toxic build up is according to your break out location. The same way chinese medicine connects different points or your body to different organs– different acne break out points match those organs. The first week of detox my face exploded with pimples– and the most noticeable break out location? All over my forehead— tiny little pimples EVERYWHERE. And what body part does your forehead match to? Your digestive tract! Super interesting, right?! I’ve also had a bit of break outs twice on the back/side of my neck. This usually implies that you’re fighting and infection or something with your hormones. This week I’ve also had breaks outs a bit on my jaw which is also connected to hormones– and I’m period-ing. So theres that. I’m trying not to stress about it, but I mean, they’re pimples, big whoop and I’m not 16 and really don’t care that much anymore. And I’m reminding myself that my body is cleaning. Sometimes you gotta kick up a lot of garbage and junk before it gets cleaned out completely.
difficulties: I think the hardest thing for me has been my cravings for HOT food. I woke up today and didn’t even want pizza. Like, I’m not dying for french fries or specific things– but the thing I miss most is warming, hot foods. I don’t feel warm and comforted by eating cold foods everyday, for every meal. I’m super thankful that its warm here in florida– because I highly doubt I could do this if I was up north, but even in the warm Florida sun, I crave and miss hot food. I’m usually totally okay for breakfast + lunch. I feel good eating raw or almost completely raw. But half way through dinner I want to throw my bowl across the room and eat something warm. Anything warm. I don’t need junk food or high oil foods. Really, I dont even care or crave junk foods anymore at all— it could be the healthiest bowl of soup ever and I would be SO happy– I just want it warm. Or not warm, but hot. Honestly, I want food to be on the verge of burning my mouth– I’ve always been like that. The hotter the better.
Another difficulty is eating like this outside of the house. At home, it’s not an issue. And even when I go out for errands or whatever, its not a huge issue, I’m just like a rabbit hat pulls out ten apples or oranges or whatever else while I’m out. It’s just that I’m trying to get out of the house with friends as much as possible. Change my old routines, start new ones, do new things, whatever. But it gets difficult when I plan my day with friends– because usually at some point food will be involved. We’re a food culture, dining out is for nourishment and enjoyment– and I can’t show up at a restaurant being like, “hey can you get me a giant organic fruit platter?” You know? I know all the tricks– you can eta before hand, or order a plan salad, no dressing, or just have water, but that’s not fun That’s not what I want to do. I dont like going out to eat and being the only one eating– I dont want to do that to other people too! So for now I’ve been suggesting juice dates, beach dates, and picnic dates. I’ll figure out the rest later.
mood: my mood is GREAT. If I’m being completely honest our home life has sort of been a shit show lately. I mean, no one is fighting and screaming over here, but life sort of did get turned upside down this month. And sure, part of my calmness is due to growth and the overwhelming patience I’ve developed in the last few years, but a big part is due to diet for sure. Diet plays a HUGE part in mood. I’m living proof of that. I overcame depression and anxiety through diet change. And I do feel like my overall day to day mood and outlook on things is highly influenced by the nutrient dense, brain feeding, happy and non toxic food I’ve been eating. All anxiety is gone. Rollercoaster emotions are gone. I just feel really emotionally good. I have real feelings and good and negative emotions— I’m a dynamic human being just like everyone else, but I feel good. Emotionally, I’m in a good place.
contradicting feelings: I still go back and forth on the whole ‘this is the perfect diet’ theory. In a lot of ways the diet makes so much sense. In some ways it doesn’t. I mean, my biggest thought it that at some point we did advance– we learned languages, created tools, expanded and grew. Was it a change in diet that made this happen? Was it the use of fire? The time we left a mad life to create crops? What changed? I can’t help but question the potential flaws in this diet. I do think this diet mostly makes sense because we are not changing perfect foods. The universe works the way it’s supposed to and these foods were created with certain a certain biochemistry to fit our needs– great! So it makes sense eating them in their perfect form. At least most of the time. But maybe we do need certain cooked foods– maybe this helps nourish us and help us grow in other ways. I don’t know. For now I want to keep moving forward with an open mind and I’ll see what happens.
my gut: it’s still a little weird from time to time. I still haven’t figured out a good rhythm to it yet. It doesn’t hurt unless I overdo it on cauliflower or broccoli. I’m still taking my probiotics daily. I feel like I wont need them later– honestly, sometimes I still question if I need them now, with all the natural probiotics fruit and vegetable provide, but I’m taking them. Overall it seems like my gut is much better, but I do hope it’ll get more stable as even more time passes.
lady things: As mentioned, it’s my lady time. So my flow is the same. I was worried that I might start skipping my period again (like I did when my body gave out with the c. diff.) This didn’t happen and I dont think it will happen anymore honestly. It seems healthy and good. I’m tired, sure, but thats sort of how it works. One HUGE change I noticed this month was that ANY pms symptoms I would have had before are/were completely non existent. Nothing, zero. I feel like I’ve been eating so clean that there hasn’t been any junk in the way of my body converting it’s estrogen/doing its hormonal cleaning thing. So yay to that. I’m still eating seaweed often for it’s iodine. This makes a huge difference in my fibrocystic breast health. They hurt substantially less when I’m smart about my iodine intake. And I like to add spirulina powder to my smoothie bowls for the extra iron too 🙂
random fun stuff: the cravings I thought I would have, are non existent– and I do actually find myself craving more fruit– which is great. For instance, I actually drank one day last week and instead of waking up wanting french fries or other delicious hangover foods, I wanted pineapple. Weird, right? My body was like, “NO, I dont want your delicious garbage foods, give me pineapple!” I’ve never, ever had that happen.
eating: breakfast is almost always some sort of banana ice-cream, acai bowl, or smoothie bowl. Sometimes I’ll mix it up and juice a bunch of greens and blend it with banana and berries. Lunch and dinner is more of a toss up. For lunch I’ve been doing more fruit. Sometimes it feels weird eating so many sweet things all day long, but I’m doing it. Half the time I go to my favorite lettuce wraps and still clinging on to that not raw miso dressing for all things. For dinner, it depends how I feel– but I definetly move away from fruit and go into the greens and veg realm for dinner. Sometimes I end up just eating what Marlowe is eating still. I’ve just been using less to no oil and drastically cutting back on salt. the salt shift has been hard for both of us, but we’re working on it. I often offer to add a bit of the unheated oil on top of her food after it’s cooled, since she is still growing and a tiny thing and I have mixed thoughts and feelings on the low fat thing. Some nights I’ll make some sort of pasta dish and I’ll have zucchini noodles and she’ll have rice or quinoa noodles. We mix it up a bit. Snacks are always fruit. I’d say I’m about 75% raw vegan /fruitarian right now.
finance: I’m going to be completely poor from this. haha. Well, it’s pricey for sure. Fruit is not cheap. That being said, I have yet to do my proper inquires to farmers + CSA’s around here and I know I can make this cheaper. I finally started asking about wholesale purchasing this week. I’m going to shop around for bulk prices and try to bring down my overall cost a bit. I’m mostly really happy that I’m finally eating bananas. Oh and I’m so freaking happy that our papaya trees are ripening just in time. Now I just need to find myself an organic pineapple farmer to supply me with my one true love: pineapples.
final thoughts: Overall I feel better. A lot better. *Human* again for the first time in almost two years. I feel stronger too. I know I’m still pretty thin, but I don’t feel weak. I feel like I can start moving forward in gaining weight and muscle too. Right now, I dont see myself being a lifelong raw vegan. But I could potentially see myself being mostly raw for the rest of my life. I can’t see into the future so I really don’t know what will happen or how I will feel years from now– or even months or weeks from now. But right now the improvements have been so good and and completely undeniable. So for now, I’m going to stick with it. Ideally I’d like to go 100% raw (oil and salt free) for a month and then assess it from there. I dont feel light-headed, sugar highs or lows, I feel steady and good. I know this is going to change my life. It’s already started to. And I’m still as excited as when I started to move forward 🙂
Have more questions? Please ask! You guys know it, I’m an open book. Let’s chat about food, life, poop, whatever.