Yep, that’s Marlowe. A new haircut. All her hair chopped off and gone. I know, I can hardly believe it too. Honestly, I keep doing double-takes every time she walks by. This isn’t something I would have picked for her. This is something she totally decided for herself. And well, I think it’s awesome.
Alex and I are not entirely sure how this haircut decision came about for her. It seemed like it popped into her head out of the blue. I picked her up from school one day and on the car ride home, she said, “I want to cut all my hair off. I want a boy’s haircut.”
Well, you can probably guess my first reaction… I told her, “Well, there’s no such thing as a ‘boy’ haircut. Or a ‘girl’ haircut. It’s just a haircut. But if you want a short haircut, we can absolutely discuss it.”
She told me, “Well, I don’t know, I just know I want it cut off like a lot of boys have it.”
You know, my first reaction was to make her wait a month to see if this was just a quick idea that popped in her head that she would quickly change her mind about. And in our first conversation, I did tell her she should wait a month… or at least three weeks.
But the thing is that I know Marlowe. And even better, she knows herself pretty damn well. She is hesitant about A LOT of things, but once she gets her mind on something she sticks to it and does not waiver. So we made an appointment. And about 5-6 days later she was in the hairdresser seat chopping all her hair off.
Before we went in for the appointment I wanted to be sure she knew of the possible drawbacks to getting her haircut. That her neck would be cold (haha). That people could and would potentially mistake her for a boy. That she could possibly not like it and it would take a long, long time to grow out. Etc. And with each idea, she told me, “That’s fine.”
And it has been fine. She truly does not care if others would love it or hate it, because she loves it. This hairdo makes sense for her. She has never been someone that lets me braid or style or hair. She brushes her hair because she wants it neat and not tangled, but despises the action and even more so when it’s tangled. She doesn’t even want to tie it up. She is the ultimate minimalist with so many things– simple and no-frills. And in so many ways, this cut is just that.
As the hairdresser put the final touches on her haircut I walked over and said,”I’m proud of you boo, this is a big thing.”
And in one sentence she put me in my place, but made me so proud at the very same time… she said, “Why? It’s just a haircut”
She could not be more right. I’ve always made a point to not emphasis physical traits– and to put a focus on the other positive qualities a person could hold instead. I’ve always wanted her to know that looks don’t matter. That as long as she does her best, and is happy, and kind, that’s the only thing that is truly important to me. For her, this wasn’t a big thing. For her, there is no value in her hair or the length it has… it’s just another material thing that was so easy for her to let go.
And I’m proud of her, not just because she decided to chop all her hair, but because of the really amazing person that she is and is growing more into everyday.