Today was terrible. One of the worst of the worst. I haven’t been sleeping well. My nights have been filled with terrible dreams of love, work, and child raising— all falling apart– again. I’m not sure what triggers my sleep problems (well, late night sugar doesn’t help… and hormones don’t help… okay, I guess I do know), but whether I know or don’t know: my complicated relationship with sleep is back. I went to bed last night, excited for today… but today: nothing went as planned. I woke up to rain. Fine, it’s rain, not a big deal. Rain happens, it’s nothing to cry about. But how I was going to make it to two banks and city hall with a toddler, in the rain, was beyond me. (#firstworldproblems, right?) But I NEEDED to pay my bills. I knew I needed to. Five days past payment on rent (not a huge deal, I’ve got a great landlord, she knows the payment will come in– this was my first day free this week) and a little overdue on utilities— maybe, I never received a notice. I started gathering things together– I was going to get Marlowe in that stroller and make quick walk east when there was a break in the clouds. I pick her up, I bring her in her room to change her: the power goes out. I hear someone outside. WHY. My bill stated the payment was due the 19th (of April). WHY. I go to the window and I see the man who shut off my power, getting in his truck, and pulling away. And I’m stuck, in the 90 degree, raining weather, with no AC and no power for fans…. and I’m confused and upset. Why the man who turns a switch to turn off all the power in my house couldn’t wait for tomorrow, couldn’t wait an hour until I made it to the office, is beyond me. We finally make it out of the house, neither one of us is happy. Marlowe vocally whines the whole time, I whine in my head, but I’m certain you can see it in my face. She whines more. She screams. I give up. I give her a lollipop from the bank— ANYTHING to give me a slight second of a break today. The lollipop is not another person or a helping hand. The lollipop is hardly a minute distraction. And I don’t feel completely guilty. We make it home. I prepare lunch. She screams the entire time. She seems hungry. I place her in the highchair and she is disappointed and unhappy. Whines. Points to nothing. Whines more. I beg, I plead. Finally, she gives up on her pointless whining and reaches for food. She begins to eat. I stand up in relief, wash my hands, walk back to the couch, and she is asleep: covered in food, in her chair. I lay her, dirty, covered in food, on my bed. I get some work done and I clean my messy home. She wakes up, in a better mood. For a short while, the clouds move, and the sun shines in… and I make lemonade. The rest of the day continues with more fits, more tantrums, and refusing to eat anything of value, and the day, once again, continues to fall apart.
Currently: I’m happy to be in bed, with my child asleep in her cozy, tiny bedroom. I’m happy we both survived our moodiness today. I’m not pleased that my emotions have gotten the best of me a few times this week, but I’m proud for making it through another trying day, alone. I look forward to a fresh start tomorrow. Tomorrow will be a good day. Tomorrow: I drink my lemonade.
2 parts lemon
1 part sweetener
6 parts water
(sounds accurate enough)
Happy Weekend everyone! Happy Easter, if you celebrate it. It seems the earth and the planets are moving in all kinds of weird directions, changing and adjusting our moods and cycles. I know very little about this. I failed (well, I got a C) on every exam relating to the pull of the moon and tides in my college oceanography course (hardest class I’ve taken to date). With Mercury in retrograde (whatever that means), we’re not “supposed to” make big decisions, take on new projects, or deal with finances, but instead, deal with already looked at and older projects. Whatever is going on with moodiness and pulls, it’s supposed to end soon. Again, happy weekend. Make some lemonade.
34 Comments
whoa. crummy day. but yummy, beautiful lemonade. hope the sourness dissipates soon.
Hi Drea,
Well done on getting out, and making lemonade, and "keep on keeping on". Try not to be too hard on yourself, we all have those terrible days/strings of days where everything is a big horrible mess. But the important thing, so they say, is how you choose to deal with those days. And it seems like you deal with them well, and make the most of them til the sun shines again. Good job. x
I feel you on having a rough day. I feel like being a mother has taught me to seek more patience about things. I always treasure my sleep now (when I get it). I hope you have a good weekend. Enjoy your lemonade. It looks delicious!
I'm so sorry to hear about your bad day, they are so trying on the soul. I hope that tomorrow is a better day! This may sound really weird and you will most likely delete this comment, which is okay. But do you think that your soul is looking for something deeper than just this life? I read your blog and it seems that you are searching for something greater than your everyday life. Maybe, just maybe, you could stumble into an easter service and see what they say?!? This is where we go, and I love it. You can watch at home if you like. In fact, I know you would, who doesn't want to listen to church in bd or on the couch!!! http://www.seacoast.org
Yes, the bomb dot com. I totally know what it is like to want to hit reset on your day, and feel like you just can't quite pull your head out of it to see the light. (knowing it's there, but not seeing it…)
Anyway. I love your pictures. You do such a good job taking care of M. You're taking care of yourself, too, and you are so strong and fierce and brave. Moodiness it moodiness. It happens. And when it does, doesn't it seem like every bad thing just wants to dogpile you?
You'll hit the day running tomorrow.
omg the spoon is amazing 😀
where did you buy it? 🙂
It was actually a very late christmas gift from Alex. I'll have to ask him. I'm certain he ordered it from Amazon, just not sure of the brand. I'm actually seen similar ones at Sur La Table too.
Peace and Calming essential oil by Young Living does wonders for a fussy baby 🙂
well, life certainly has given you lemons. good to see someone taking the adage to heart.
I know I already commented on instagram, about how we lived the same horrible day yesterday. Reading this I REALLY feel like we did. Hope today goes better for y'all. It's a tad bit for us. Xoxo from Texas!
Has it gotten better for you? It's def. picked up here. M was GREAT yesterday… moody today, but thats toddlerhood 😉
My husband has been out of town this week, leaving me alone with our 6 month-old. All week I thought about you, and how much I admire how you do so well on your own. After a week, I already want to thrown in the towel. I definitely haven't been making lemonade. You are an inspiration!
Bad days suck, but they come and they go. The good thing is you don't need power to make lemonade (which looks fabulous by the way – I'll have to remember to add blueberries next time)!
It won't rain forever!
<3<3<3
I want your kitchen.
So sorry your day was so horrible. It's been that kind of a week all around I think. I hope the lemonade helps, but remember you can't appreciate the good days without a few bad thrown in there, too. I'm fully aware how much that sucks. But the sun will come out and things will be ok.
You do not want my kitchen! Trust me! There are so many problems and it's about 3 by 6 feet big (or small)!
🙂
Sorry about your terrible day! Have you tried taking Natural Calm to help you sleep? It is a magnesium powder that fizzes in warm water. I find it helps when I am upset. It's hard to get back on track when you are tired. The years with small children are some of the most difficult! Take care.
I haven't! I might try it! I did take a magnesium supplement to help with sleep when I was pregnant… pretty much the only baby safe option there was, but I found it made me very depressed the next day. I'm very sensitive to ANYTHING I put in my body. But it's worth a shot! Thanks for the tip!
Aw, I wish we could be friends 🙂
Come on over 😉
You rock, Drea! You're doing it. Bad days and good, you're there for Marlowe making sure the power is back on, the food is on the table, lemonade in the glass. I hope you and M. have a great weekend to make up for a not so great day yesterday.
S.
Come here and teach me and my kid how to ride a bike? 🙂
Lemonade from scratch is the best thing ever. Sorry to hear you had such a moody day, here is hoping the sun comes out for you today.
It's a rant day forecast for Friday! Well, the sun is peeking through right now, but on and off rain! Maybe tomorrow though! 🙂 Have a great weekend!
Thanks for sharing! What are the dome looking contraptions over your fruit/veggie bowls? Keeps bugs away?
Yep! It's roach central in south florida. Fruit fly party too.
mmmhm look at that, good pictures too!!
http://gandacummins.blogspot.com
Ugh, I feel you. It seems there's never rest for the weary. This shift is hitting everyone hard, so you're not alone.
Now I'm craving lemonade!
you take such gorgeous photos, even if its just lemons!!
my day wasn't nice at all today. i feel horrible i don't have the patience for my kids at times but two whiny toddlers throwing tantrums & sometimes at the same time is so difficult. i find myself going through this every single day with Niko. he back talks & is so rude for no good reason & im supposed to not get mad. its hard. but either way, we try our best!
cheers to a better day tomorrow! xo
Thanks! It's my brothers camera… I'm borrowing it and have no idea how to use it 🙂
REMEMBER: It's 7pm somewhere.
i have that agave! now i have a recipe with which to use it.
I sometimes make a simple syrup and use that.. but squeezing agave into a thing is so much easier! And delicious 🙂
You are the bomb dot com dot org dot edu. And don't you ever forget it. I always look forward to your posts – the good, the bad and the ugly. Thank you for sharing a bit of you with us!
Ha thanks! This made me laugh! Much needed these days 🙂
: > Have a beautiful Friday! xx